Janu42 {?uotable}
New member
/begin backstory
I have 4 places to live, but I'm homeless. I could go to my parents, but it's a bloody shitpen, there's no good jobs up there, and my college is 2 1/2 hours south. I could go to what my friends and I have dubbed "The Hellhole" which is where I technically live, but I haven't been there in over a month (This is where my ex lives with her 2 new boyfriends and I really don't want to visit until I have a place to move my stuff to).
The others are my friends' couches at college. 2 possibilities. One is Josh. Josh is Josh. There can be no explanation of the Josh. Josh lives right upstairs from my other friend.
/end backstory
/begin rant1
My other friend is this girl that I have liked for years. I asked her out a long time ago, at the same time as another of my friends (not literally the same time..). She's been going out with him since, but I think there's still some feelings between us. I know there are on my side, and I'm 80% sure there are on her side too. I'm over at her place usually. We watch movies and she'll cuddle up or lean against me. This is heaven for me. Neither of us is the type to cheat or let the other cheat though, and we'd like to keep it that way, but DAMN it's getting unbearable. Allow me to clarify again that we'd NEVER go behind a bf/gf's back, even though she's told me that they're on the rocks and she'll be surprised if they last the summer. Despite this, I don't want them to break up. This is one person who I can honestly say, "I want her to be happy, even if it's not with me." Also, she is going out with (as I mentioned before) one of our friends, and I of course, consider his feelings in this as well. I don't want him to be hurt either.
I really enjoy staying there, but that means all the more I don't want to be a burden to her or get her in trouble with her roommates (though they know my 'alternative' for living space and they seem to understand and haven't complained about me yet. We get along pretty well.)
It really feels good to get my feelings out on this.
/end rant1
/begin rant2
Yesterday we went up to Red Bank to watch a fireworks show. 2 nearby towns had cancelled theirs because of yesterday's storm, so 3 towns worth of people showed up to this one. Josh and I got there at about 3:30 pm, walked around and shopped (Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash :toocool
until about 7:30 when everyone else started showing up. The show was awesome, me and the girl had fun taking pictures and making fun of the ditzes who 'so totally didn't want to, like, sit in the dirt' on the hill, etc. Really fun day, tired as hell by the time Josh and I went back to college. Despite feeling 'tired', I also felt physically energetic, so I decided to go for a walk before going to bed (Josh's couch). He gave me his keycard for the front door and left the apartment door unlocked. So after about an hour of doing things that aren't illegal, but seem it to anyone watching (like walking around campus looking like a terrorist, checking out my old dorm floor, checking out the new construction around campus, and looking into random nooks and crannies that I hadn't noticed before... btw, I'm wearing khakis and a bright white button down shirt (real thief clothing 
)) I went back to Josh's. Turns out one of his roommate's had locked the door before going to bed. The girl downstairs stayed by her parents for the night (they live near Red Bank), I don't want to go to the Hellhole, and Josh was probably blissfully asleep after a few shots of Hypnotix and therefore wasn't answering his phone. After going to Wawa for a sandwich, trying to find a place well-lit enough to read, frequenting the 24/7 college computer lab, and calling Josh at 4 am, I wound up falling asleep in my car in the parking lot. Black car, with a black leather interior, in stiflingly hot weather, heating up as the sun rises. I woke up after about 3 hours, and here I am, back in the computer lab.
/sigh
/end rant2
/:suicide:
I have 4 places to live, but I'm homeless. I could go to my parents, but it's a bloody shitpen, there's no good jobs up there, and my college is 2 1/2 hours south. I could go to what my friends and I have dubbed "The Hellhole" which is where I technically live, but I haven't been there in over a month (This is where my ex lives with her 2 new boyfriends and I really don't want to visit until I have a place to move my stuff to).
The others are my friends' couches at college. 2 possibilities. One is Josh. Josh is Josh. There can be no explanation of the Josh. Josh lives right upstairs from my other friend.
/end backstory
/begin rant1
My other friend is this girl that I have liked for years. I asked her out a long time ago, at the same time as another of my friends (not literally the same time..). She's been going out with him since, but I think there's still some feelings between us. I know there are on my side, and I'm 80% sure there are on her side too. I'm over at her place usually. We watch movies and she'll cuddle up or lean against me. This is heaven for me. Neither of us is the type to cheat or let the other cheat though, and we'd like to keep it that way, but DAMN it's getting unbearable. Allow me to clarify again that we'd NEVER go behind a bf/gf's back, even though she's told me that they're on the rocks and she'll be surprised if they last the summer. Despite this, I don't want them to break up. This is one person who I can honestly say, "I want her to be happy, even if it's not with me." Also, she is going out with (as I mentioned before) one of our friends, and I of course, consider his feelings in this as well. I don't want him to be hurt either.
I really enjoy staying there, but that means all the more I don't want to be a burden to her or get her in trouble with her roommates (though they know my 'alternative' for living space and they seem to understand and haven't complained about me yet. We get along pretty well.)
It really feels good to get my feelings out on this.
/end rant1
/begin rant2
Yesterday we went up to Red Bank to watch a fireworks show. 2 nearby towns had cancelled theirs because of yesterday's storm, so 3 towns worth of people showed up to this one. Josh and I got there at about 3:30 pm, walked around and shopped (Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash :toocool
until about 7:30 when everyone else started showing up. The show was awesome, me and the girl had fun taking pictures and making fun of the ditzes who 'so totally didn't want to, like, sit in the dirt' on the hill, etc. Really fun day, tired as hell by the time Josh and I went back to college. Despite feeling 'tired', I also felt physically energetic, so I decided to go for a walk before going to bed (Josh's couch). He gave me his keycard for the front door and left the apartment door unlocked. So after about an hour of doing things that aren't illegal, but seem it to anyone watching (like walking around campus looking like a terrorist, checking out my old dorm floor, checking out the new construction around campus, and looking into random nooks and crannies that I hadn't noticed before... btw, I'm wearing khakis and a bright white button down shirt (real thief clothing )) I went back to Josh's. Turns out one of his roommate's had locked the door before going to bed. The girl downstairs stayed by her parents for the night (they live near Red Bank), I don't want to go to the Hellhole, and Josh was probably blissfully asleep after a few shots of Hypnotix and therefore wasn't answering his phone. After going to Wawa for a sandwich, trying to find a place well-lit enough to read, frequenting the 24/7 college computer lab, and calling Josh at 4 am, I wound up falling asleep in my car in the parking lot. Black car, with a black leather interior, in stiflingly hot weather, heating up as the sun rises. I woke up after about 3 hours, and here I am, back in the computer lab./sigh
/end rant2
/:suicide: