I had kyphosis and I forced it back into shape, now am i damaged?

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snark

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Ok, before I begin you should know that I have OCD, so I obsess about many things, and my back is one of them. That's what forced me to do all this. I KNOW I sholdn't have done it.



I was diagnosed with kyphosis (sp?) several years ago that was causing me much pain. I'm 21 right now. I became obsessed with the curvature in my back and very distressed by it. I used a device to improve the shape, such as "TruBack", but found they weren't working, so I began sleeping on a pillow in that mid-area of my back to correct the problem. This was very painful, tense, and uncomfortable, but the obsession was 'worth it' to me.

Well, I slept that way for about 1 1/2 years. Finally I think I just got over it, not sure why. But the shape of my spine has changed, and I dont' know what to do now because I feel horribly damaged. My nervous system feel perminantly "ON", tense, my back can't find a restful place, etc. X-rays & MRIs have shown I have a military neck now (not sure if it was that way before), with at least 1 slightly bulging disc (no other physical reason for this).

Has anyone heard of this kind of damage being done before? what would it be called?? I have not told a doctor about this because frankly it's too erabarassing... I mean imagine explaining this. PLEASE help me, and PLEASE don't judge me based on my disorder! =(
 
Hi Snark, and welcome to the board! We have a variety of back issues here, and we're happy to help you as well as we can from our own experiences. I'm sorry you've had to go through this. You must be frustrated, even angry with yourself. (((((((hugs)))))))

I have not heard of this particular problem, but that doesn't mean you're alone. I think that you're being too hard on yourself. Doctors (and others, especially us!) have more compassion than you may realize. I really, really think that you need to see a spine specialist and come clean. It's not a big deal. You were only doing what you thought would help your spine! There's certainly no shame in that! It didn't work out as you had hoped, and that's unfortunate. So now, bite the bullet and get the help you need. Tell the doctor exactly what you did and exactly the type of pain you're having now. Be honest. You don't need to mention that you tend to obsess about things if you don't want to, but be honest about what you did to reach this point. You can even say, "I can't believe I did this to myself! I thought I was doing a good thing!" Or something like that. Doctors have seen it all and heard it all. I've had to talk to some of my doctors about some sensitive things, including one doctor who was also a friend. EVERY SINGLE TIME I've been pleasantly surprised that no one has judged me. They instead were compassionate and helpful and supportive.

I do hope you can find the perfect doctor for you and get relief. Please come back and let us know how it's going.

I wish you the best,
Emily
 
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