Alexandra~Helios
New member
It's a long story and I don't want to write the whole thing out..so, Ill just give basics here.
2 years:
He worshiped me! literally! He did EVERYTHING FOR ME!
He was the nicest man! He is separated with 2 kids.
I never really allowed myself to become attached because of the separation.
I knew that ANYTHING could have happened. I did get attached and emotional and things were starting to bother me...where is this going? what are we doing etc...
well, I didn't really see any change so, I broke up with him.
He tried everything to make me stay. He even told me to give him one year to finalize the divorce and take care of the "loose ends".
I stuck to my guns and said no, and just wanted to remain friends.
What I had secretly hoped was that he would keep in touch and when the year was up, we would get back together after the divorce was finalized.
Well, after the split, we did talk via text. He pulled away, he was never available like before. He would only send me quick texts...he pulled a complete 360.
after several months he disconnected his phone and I had not way to contact him.
At first I was like, whatever...but after being in denial for about a month.
IT hit me, and HARD!!!
I have been a complete wreck since he cut off communication with me. I did call his work phone 1 time, left one message and sent 5 emails over the course of 2 months.
Finally, I couldn't handle it any longer and so, I camped out in front of his work.
I walked up when he was opening his business and I asked if he had a few moments.
I informed him of my feelings. I told him I missed him and that he was missing from my life and that Im screwed up emotionally and that Im sad without him.
He eventually had to go, he hugged me goodbye, even gave me a kiss...and stared at me the whole time I pulled away.
He sent me a text that same night stating that it was good to see me and that he was glad I came.
Then I told him, that I was a mess, I am emotionally stuck over him and that I cant really function emotionally due to him.
He told me via text in response that he thought that me expressing my emotions was the real me that he NEVER GOT TO SEE, which is the truth. I have trust issues and it is extremely hard for me to express how I feel, plus the nature of his situation always had me worried to allow myself to love him hard like that!
so, all he said was how he did not like how I would put my feelings down. WHat he means is because, I had said, I miss you, im a wreck without you and I need you in my life..this is not me, im going crazy!
He did not like the "this is not me" part. I would always have a hard shell.
but anyways, he is not addressing what I am saying to him.
I also said, do I have a chance for hope with us, because if not, please tell me to move on and I will leave you alone.
He did not answer or respond to anything that I had said, other than commenting on how he thought it was a beautiful thing that I expressed how I truly felt.
then he stopped answering my texts..
so, I just stopped myself.
a day goes by, nothing!!! IM still in tears and I REFUSE to contact him further. I said my peace and have not choice but to continue on with my life. I do feel better now that I laid it out on the line for him,and I know that there is a chance that he could not want to be with me I get that...
but, today, after not hearing from his yesterday, he send me a text asking if I was doing okay?
OF course, I said NO, IM sad! and that I am crying alot, and I think that perhaps, It would do me good to just cry and let it all out in hopes of getting it out and feeling better!
He DID NOT RESPOND! THEN AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER, asked me "when do I graduate from school"
Then I said, in 3 weeks why? he said, "just wondering, why, whats it to ya? then I said, Im just wondering what its to you?, he said "dunno".
I just had a light bulb in my head go off, and IM thinking he is just trying to appease me by asking me stupid questions which have nothing to do with anything that I am trying to express to him.
He kept saying tho, the day that I seen him that, he didnt mean to make me cry.
Can he just not handle real emotions?
I feel far worse from his small talk, like what the hell is the point in even texting me at all, if hes going to act like this???
am I being appeased?
PLease help me see clearly because Im emotionally blind on whats going on here with him!
WTF!!!
He used to love me, this is not him! he seems cold! and very distant! its very strange!
2 years:
He worshiped me! literally! He did EVERYTHING FOR ME!
He was the nicest man! He is separated with 2 kids.
I never really allowed myself to become attached because of the separation.
I knew that ANYTHING could have happened. I did get attached and emotional and things were starting to bother me...where is this going? what are we doing etc...
well, I didn't really see any change so, I broke up with him.
He tried everything to make me stay. He even told me to give him one year to finalize the divorce and take care of the "loose ends".
I stuck to my guns and said no, and just wanted to remain friends.
What I had secretly hoped was that he would keep in touch and when the year was up, we would get back together after the divorce was finalized.
Well, after the split, we did talk via text. He pulled away, he was never available like before. He would only send me quick texts...he pulled a complete 360.
after several months he disconnected his phone and I had not way to contact him.
At first I was like, whatever...but after being in denial for about a month.
IT hit me, and HARD!!!
I have been a complete wreck since he cut off communication with me. I did call his work phone 1 time, left one message and sent 5 emails over the course of 2 months.
Finally, I couldn't handle it any longer and so, I camped out in front of his work.
I walked up when he was opening his business and I asked if he had a few moments.
I informed him of my feelings. I told him I missed him and that he was missing from my life and that Im screwed up emotionally and that Im sad without him.
He eventually had to go, he hugged me goodbye, even gave me a kiss...and stared at me the whole time I pulled away.
He sent me a text that same night stating that it was good to see me and that he was glad I came.
Then I told him, that I was a mess, I am emotionally stuck over him and that I cant really function emotionally due to him.
He told me via text in response that he thought that me expressing my emotions was the real me that he NEVER GOT TO SEE, which is the truth. I have trust issues and it is extremely hard for me to express how I feel, plus the nature of his situation always had me worried to allow myself to love him hard like that!
so, all he said was how he did not like how I would put my feelings down. WHat he means is because, I had said, I miss you, im a wreck without you and I need you in my life..this is not me, im going crazy!
He did not like the "this is not me" part. I would always have a hard shell.
but anyways, he is not addressing what I am saying to him.
I also said, do I have a chance for hope with us, because if not, please tell me to move on and I will leave you alone.
He did not answer or respond to anything that I had said, other than commenting on how he thought it was a beautiful thing that I expressed how I truly felt.
then he stopped answering my texts..
so, I just stopped myself.
a day goes by, nothing!!! IM still in tears and I REFUSE to contact him further. I said my peace and have not choice but to continue on with my life. I do feel better now that I laid it out on the line for him,and I know that there is a chance that he could not want to be with me I get that...
but, today, after not hearing from his yesterday, he send me a text asking if I was doing okay?
OF course, I said NO, IM sad! and that I am crying alot, and I think that perhaps, It would do me good to just cry and let it all out in hopes of getting it out and feeling better!
He DID NOT RESPOND! THEN AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER, asked me "when do I graduate from school"
Then I said, in 3 weeks why? he said, "just wondering, why, whats it to ya? then I said, Im just wondering what its to you?, he said "dunno".
I just had a light bulb in my head go off, and IM thinking he is just trying to appease me by asking me stupid questions which have nothing to do with anything that I am trying to express to him.
He kept saying tho, the day that I seen him that, he didnt mean to make me cry.
Can he just not handle real emotions?
I feel far worse from his small talk, like what the hell is the point in even texting me at all, if hes going to act like this???
am I being appeased?
PLease help me see clearly because Im emotionally blind on whats going on here with him!
WTF!!!
He used to love me, this is not him! he seems cold! and very distant! its very strange!