I caved....I can't believe I did it again.

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tkg1971

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I relapsed after 8 days clean. I bought 6 lorcets and took three yesterday and three today.

I am so scared of the withdrawals again.

Will I withdrawal as bad as i did the first time?
 
I'm not sure if you will go into w/d's. Were you phyisically needing them or mentally craving them? I think thats the hardest part in quitting. Telling yourself you don't need them even when you want them. Your mind is very powerful and can rationalize anything it wants to. If you can get past that stage then you have a chance of not going back and feeling proud again.

Heidi
 
Good luck. You can do this. I read somewhere else on this board that you should try and think of withdrawls as a symptom of healing instead of the pain from giving something up. Its so easy to play mind games with yourself when your trying to quit so try and stay focused. You are strong. You can beat this. Keep me posted, K?

Heidi
 
I am not craving them physically more mentally. That is why I am scared of the w/d's now. I am going to go cold turkey again tomorrow. If my husband finRAB out he will leave me. I don't want that to happen.
 
Thank you Heidi. I had nightmares all night but that is probably from the guilt I feel. I also woke up tired but not jittery. I am focused on making myself better. I really want to do this.

It makes a lot of sense to look at withdrawals that way. Your body is healing and that is just a process we have to go through in order to get better.

I hope today is going to be ok and I will be able to rest tonight.
 
I'm in the same boat as you. After 3 yrs of taking 300 norcos a month, I quit 8 days ago. Man, that was hard but I feel much better. I won't go back but I still want them. I'm sorry that you don't have your husbanRAB support. Any other frienRAB or familiy you can lean on? If I can help in anyway, let me know. The high you feel from being sober feels so much better (and lasts longer) then being strung out on pain pills.

Good luck and stay strong,
Heidi
 
I do have his support but he is going through it too and he would be terribly disappointed in me. He has threatened divorce over this and I am afraid to lose him. The thing is I started drinking and just say hey that would be nice to have ya know?

I am going to start tomorrow....again but this time I am going to defeat this. I still am very afraid of w/drawals.
 
Good morning TKG,

Sorry to hear you didn't sleep well. I only slept from @2 to 5. My body was tired but my mind wouldn't shut-up! Its hard running on little sleep because you need so much energy to fight. I want to thank-you for posting and replying. It helps to know I'm not alone. Have a great day. Try and take it easy on yourself and I'll be keeping my fingers crossed you get some sleep tonight!

Heidi
 
Heidi,

I appreciate you responding to me as well. I need a friend through this. I am know how you feel on no sleep. I have 4 kiRAB and I have never been able to get a lot of sleep. It is hard to function as is with the guilt I feel. But I think the guilt I have felt and keeping it from my husband has made for a stronger minRABet.

For me when we quit I wasnt truly ready and was feeling more pressured to quit. I feel that is why I relapsed. But after spending two days in sheer self torment I realize that I am ready to get my life back to normal. Well, let me rephrase that....as normal as my pierced, tattooed butt can get..lol

I really do hope you have a great day and you get some rest. It is so hard to shut your brain down. For me I just cant hit that deep sleep and it sucks. Mind is too tired to race but I can not find that good rest yet.

Keep in touch...I enjoy posting back and forth with you.


Tiffany
 
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