I have been dieting for almost 2 years now, and up to last April (2010),
I was in a good control of myself (no crazy diets or anorexic).
At some point however I started being lazy - like, "oh I won't be fat just by eating a bit more" - and now I binge insanely often.
For my diet I have been rewarding myself with a cheat day every week, but now I 'cheat' whenever I just lose control. I pig out, and after one or two hours I feel so ashamed, guilty, and angry, that
I cannot concentrate on anything.
I swear to myself that I will never do this again - like million times a day, and I find myself binging again.
I already gained back about 5 pounds since August (probably more, cause I am afraid to weigh myself now), and my thighs are elephant-thighs.
All I want to do now is to cry until somehow I die or disappear, and thinking this way makes me
more miserable and pathetic.
What is going on with me? Why did I suddenly lose control?
Please help.. I don't know what is wrong with me.
I was in a good control of myself (no crazy diets or anorexic).
At some point however I started being lazy - like, "oh I won't be fat just by eating a bit more" - and now I binge insanely often.
For my diet I have been rewarding myself with a cheat day every week, but now I 'cheat' whenever I just lose control. I pig out, and after one or two hours I feel so ashamed, guilty, and angry, that
I cannot concentrate on anything.
I swear to myself that I will never do this again - like million times a day, and I find myself binging again.
I already gained back about 5 pounds since August (probably more, cause I am afraid to weigh myself now), and my thighs are elephant-thighs.
All I want to do now is to cry until somehow I die or disappear, and thinking this way makes me
more miserable and pathetic.
What is going on with me? Why did I suddenly lose control?
Please help.. I don't know what is wrong with me.