i am weird ?? please helpp?

[Mary]

okay so my cousins are in their twenties and they have wives. their wives are really nice. and i want to be really close with them. i mean i am, but yeah i cant explain. so eveytime i see them which is alot, i want to talk to them about girl stuff. i dont know why, like one time one of them asked me if i had started my period and i said yeah i had. and everytime theres a conversation about periods, or their back hurts and stuff like that, that theyre talking about i come home and write it down in like a notebook. i dont know why but i do. or if they compliment me on something for example one time one of them complimented on my bangs so i came home and i wrote what happened. and when i find out that theyre on their period, cuz you can tell.. i come home and i write about?!?!?!?!?!!? its like i want them to ask me stuff about my period etc., like they ask each other and when they talk to each other about stuff like that... do you guys get what im trying to say? and im 14 years old soon to be 15. and theyre in their early twenties. so yeah why do i do that? i find it weird and its like if someone finds out i write about stuff like that then theyre gna think im retard. so what are some ways to solve this issue?? thanks in advance