carinamiles860
New member
hi i am a female aged 22. i first made myself sick after ide eaten a large amount of fattening foods which i felt really guilty about so made myself sick. i have been going to the gym 3 times a week now for 2 months and have changed my eating for the better. ive been making myself sick up to 2-3 times a day sometimes only once. i dont think this is bulimia because i dont have the urge to binge excessively i make myself sick because i feel guilty if i have had something i think may be bad for me or that i will put on weight. so i wont stuff myself but if i have a piece of chocloate cake or for instance last night i had a big steak and knew i shoudnt have ate it (but wanted to at the same time) i decided i would eat it but make myself sick. i have now got to the point where i will avoid eating until i feel really hungry because i am afraid i will want to make myself sick. i have just eaten a sandwich, satsuma , banana and some mini cheddars and i didnt make myself sick because i know its all ive eaten all day sp i feel ok about this. i wont eat again till tonight and will be healthy but i am really not eating enough anymore! my appetite has really gone down??? basically im avoiding eating very much in order to not want to make myself sick however in the back of my mind if i am put in a situation (which i am bound to!) to eat something i feel is too much etc i know the choice to make myself sick is there?!
what do you think is going on with me? in general i really wanna lose a lot of weight and i am insecure about my body but thats been around for ages. i have always found it difficult to not give in to my cravings but now i want to eat less and can? please help!
P.S. i am fully aware of the risks of making myself sick. i have done a lot of research into bulimia and i dont think this is what it is. Also i do go and see a CPN for other reasons and i will tell her whats going on when i next see her. Although she can give me advice on how to stop i want to have the freedom to sometimes eat bad things (as everyone does) go out for meals etc. and i can do this now but i will make myself sick when i do. the only way i can control not being sick at the moment is eating very little and feeling ok about that.
what do you think is going on with me? in general i really wanna lose a lot of weight and i am insecure about my body but thats been around for ages. i have always found it difficult to not give in to my cravings but now i want to eat less and can? please help!
P.S. i am fully aware of the risks of making myself sick. i have done a lot of research into bulimia and i dont think this is what it is. Also i do go and see a CPN for other reasons and i will tell her whats going on when i next see her. Although she can give me advice on how to stop i want to have the freedom to sometimes eat bad things (as everyone does) go out for meals etc. and i can do this now but i will make myself sick when i do. the only way i can control not being sick at the moment is eating very little and feeling ok about that.