im weirded out by the idea, the moment that i will have sex for the 1st time. im 21. the only possible explanation to me is that when i was about 1, my mom's physcho uncle kinda forced himself on me. OR that i have been treated like a little kid my whole life. i have researched it online, and hey, it seems interesting. definetly different. but i am so scared of the moment that i will have to... pull down my pants or something. haha.
i've been getting close with this guy that i work with for over a year, he is so perfect for me. we are bf/gf, i guess..... but our relationship is totally on the downlow. we tell each other i love you and all that. we are coworkers at a restaurant, he's a cook & im a waitress. he's 27. he's never pressured me into anything.
2 nights ago when we went out, he said he wanted to ask me something but he didnt want me to think i was a type of dude that he isn't. i told him i wouldn't get mad, and it took him a minute but he finally asked me if i have ever had sex.... i told him im a virgin. well anyways, we were just talking, and he asked if i was afraid of him, and i told him no, i wasn't. and then that lead to maybe. he asked if i was afraid because ive never done it before and i said i guess... i told him im not like the virgin mary like, i have to someday. and i do want to. he told me that he wants to, whenever I am ready, like, he's not going to ever make me do anything. I said thats cool. After we were chilling in my car, he wanted out of my car and it was kinda cold outside, so we couldn't do anything. it was late. he got a hotel room for like 2 hours and we didn't do anything but make out, lay down and just talk.... all he did really was slip his hand under the back of my shirt. haha.
anyways, my question is, i am in love with him as i will ever be. i can NEVER stop thinking about him. and for the first time ever, i love going to work just because i get to talk to him more and see him there. i think he is the perfect guy for me. How come I am not ready to have sex with him yet?? I know he has always been really respectful to me, and he is definetly not a virgin, so yeah, i do want to. I just can't work up the courage to say I am ready............... help? lol
i've been getting close with this guy that i work with for over a year, he is so perfect for me. we are bf/gf, i guess..... but our relationship is totally on the downlow. we tell each other i love you and all that. we are coworkers at a restaurant, he's a cook & im a waitress. he's 27. he's never pressured me into anything.
2 nights ago when we went out, he said he wanted to ask me something but he didnt want me to think i was a type of dude that he isn't. i told him i wouldn't get mad, and it took him a minute but he finally asked me if i have ever had sex.... i told him im a virgin. well anyways, we were just talking, and he asked if i was afraid of him, and i told him no, i wasn't. and then that lead to maybe. he asked if i was afraid because ive never done it before and i said i guess... i told him im not like the virgin mary like, i have to someday. and i do want to. he told me that he wants to, whenever I am ready, like, he's not going to ever make me do anything. I said thats cool. After we were chilling in my car, he wanted out of my car and it was kinda cold outside, so we couldn't do anything. it was late. he got a hotel room for like 2 hours and we didn't do anything but make out, lay down and just talk.... all he did really was slip his hand under the back of my shirt. haha.
anyways, my question is, i am in love with him as i will ever be. i can NEVER stop thinking about him. and for the first time ever, i love going to work just because i get to talk to him more and see him there. i think he is the perfect guy for me. How come I am not ready to have sex with him yet?? I know he has always been really respectful to me, and he is definetly not a virgin, so yeah, i do want to. I just can't work up the courage to say I am ready............... help? lol