I am in this relationship for 2 years and we have really took a downfall in the

L

lovesick

New member
last 2 months. We argue about? our kids, ex's, money, etc. The problem is he seperates us a "family". he will tell me he has a family (his kids w/his ex wife) . I pay 90% of the bills and he tells me it is overwhelming to fix my car and get the house (which i owed for awhile and couldnt keep up alone w/it). Then he tells me I am over jealous of his ex wife. um that he calls when we fight and i think he still wants to be with (she left him). He will tell me also that he can not give me 100% because of his c/support, etc. It always comes down to money w/him. I want HIM emotionally. We hit it off so well for the first 1 1/2 years that i am blindsided by his behavior. We became engaged about 3 months ago and when i asked him to get married, that was a HUGE fight. he wanted a lifetime girlfriend which I will not be. He said his marriage meant something to him and she screwed around on him so much that he is scared now. At the end we got a ring because he said he cant imagine his life w/out me. BUT why is he so cruel w/his words? Then its like a "honeymoon" phase of domestic violence where he is super nice and gives me everthing for a few weeks, then the pattern of nasty words comes again. Then he's happy again. WHAT should i do? is there saving this? i love him to pieces but all my friends who know me say he is not for me and he is selfish and inconsiderate and arrogant. I know this is alot but i want everyone to have the WHOLE story .Thanks for all your advice in advance
 
Time to move on. Sounds like he has a lot of baggage. It also sounds like he is a jerk and eventually you guys WILL break up so get it over with now and stop dragging it along. There is someone out there that will treat you a lot better.
 
If your partner is acting like this, best advice I can give is try counseling. Violence DOES NOT come into a good relationship and being called a lifetime girlfriend must make you feel terrible. If you don't like the way he's beginning to act, again, try counseling and if that fail go on a break and see if that could bring you closer together.
 
Having experience in an ugly divorce myself. It can really give you a lot of emotional baggage and issues that affect future relationships, especially that first one after the divorce. No matter how happy you are with the new person, any hints of your past experience that surface in the new relationship can trigger a default negative behavior. It sounds like he is still working through his emotional baggage and it's up to you to decide whether it's worth sticking around for him to get over it. Honestly some people never do. I ended the first relationship after my divorce of a year because I saw behavior that reminded me of my ex so I ran for the hills. He was also became emotionally distant.IOverall he was a great guy, but I punished him for my past. Also in dealing with his ex-wife you have to understand that because they have kids together he will always have to be in touch with her. In a twisted way I think he's punishing you for his past as well. Honestly I think you should run for the hills, he has too many insecurities to deal with right now. Be fair to yourself. I've learned the hard way that no matter how much you love someone, sometimes it's not enough.
 
It doesn't sound like there is anything to save. Yo have to have boundaries and not let him walk all over you. Not a healthy relationship from what you have said. Leave him he has issues he needs to work through.
 
Back
Top