I am back from my hiatus and attempt to kick this oxy demon

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icehouse3z

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Well im back, hi everybody. Havent been on here in 4-5 months who knows maybe longer, its hard to think/remeraber when your mind is polluted with drugs. Earlier this year I broke out of a 400mg oxy per day nightmare for a little while then went back. im sure you can find the storey on here it was quite a journey. im tryin not to be mad at myself but cant help to think i would have almost 9 months clean going on a year. Again, iam gonna pull myself by my bootstraps and keep tryin. I timed it to start last nite as i have a few days off work. took my last 2 20mg oxys last nite at 11:00pm, its been 12 hrs go far, got the aches but not feeling as bad as i should, i know it will come soon though, im ready to battle again, i need to put this crap behind me once n for all. I will update often as i did last time.

Ice
 
Hey Ice,

You have great intentions this time - that's evident. It's alot easier to go back to the drugs, then to stay clean. Staying clean requires so much and we can't do this until we are "ready." Believe me, I tried many times but looking back, I really wasn't ready to kick my habit.

Leverage this board and all suggestions. There are so many of us, who have been through what you're about to go through. Keep busy, very busy and try not to sit around "waiting" to see how the withdrawal will be. Again, it's alot easier to be a couch potato, then to get up and get moving :)

I wish you lots of luck, keep in touch so we can help you along the way.

Sincerely,
emsmom
 
thanks for the advice emsmom, thats what ive been tryin to do, my engery levels hit the floor over the past 2 hours so gona try to nap if i can, ill update later
 
My pleasure...

If you have any trouble sleeping, go buy some melatonin (3mg). That stuff will knock you out cold. I didn't have faith in the natural stuff but decided to try it when I was put on prednisone and couldn't sleep - wow, I was out cold in 30 mins., and slept for 12 hours.

Cold turkey is really hard on the system so be vigilante and take care of yourself. Drink alot of fluiRAB and get some imodium when the diarrhea begins (and you know it will).

If you're feeling up to it, write a journal of everything you experience. It is a great resource to look back on throughout your recovery. Not only will it help keep you on track, but it will show you how far you've come.

Don't beat yourself up that you would've had nine months clean had you not relapsed. The important thing is that you're getting clean now. Don't worry too much about yesterday, as long as you're doing what's best today :)

I hope it doesn't get too bad for you...

emsmom
 
i got an hour and half of sleep, luckly i have some clonidine, i will check out the melitonin. its not gona be fun...i could probably write a book on withdrawals thats how many times ive been threw it, most of them minior, just a few hours or a day until i would take any opiates. i have had to go 4,5,6 days without and came out alive and starting to feel alot better. i just need to ride the storm. your right im not going to beat myself up over the past...all that matters is wanting a sober future and getting there, then staying there. im at the 24hr point, goin to bed, i should be peaking tomorrow and monday, i so cant wait to put this behind me. its one big A** monkey i need to get off my back.

Ice
 
Just curious, why haven't you tried Suboxone? It literally saved my life, cause there was no way I was going to quit by myself, even though I really tried. Sometimes the first step is to admit that we need help, that we are "powerless" against our addiction without assistance of some form. I had to go 250 miles a month for 5 years to get Suboxone b/c I live in a very conservative city. It isn't swapping one med for another, it's a recovery tool. I just wanted to see if other people scaring you off was maybe the reason you're trying it by yourself. Either way, I feel your pain. Been there done that.
 
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