I am a Veteran out the U.S. Army who is having a problem with drugs and need help?

[Jenn]

I am a 34 year old female who was in the Army and has been to Iraq. That 15 month experience has changed me for the worst. I made the mistake to self medicate and now feel lost and scared and would like to talk to someone who can possibly guide me. I have read other drug posts on this site and I don't want to be told to "just suck it up" or some biased uneducated answer from people who have nothing else better to do then just run there mouth. I have recently moved to the Washington D.C. area with my husband who is currently still active duty military. He is aware of my "problem" just because he finds certain things in my stuff that indicate I still use. I have been using meth for about 2 years and I am so ashamed of myself and this is the first time I have openly talked about my problem. I am hiding behind a computer screen for the whole world to judge me and maybe I need some tough words. This goes with saying "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired" I would like to meet someone who has been on meth and successfully defeated it. The things that I saw in Iraq and had to endure has made me an unsocial mess. I don't have anyone I can really talk to and I am so afraid to walk into a rehab and scream "help me". I guess im trying to say I dont know where to begin. In reading this I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me. I am just looking for positive guidance and maybe someone I could talk to....