Alex's wifey
New member
My husband just joined the military and is in boot camp right now. I had a good relationship with his mom, so it was agreed that I would live in her house while he was in training, since I couldn't afford our apartment on my own.
It's been really hard having him be gone, and I feel like my mother in law (and her father, who also lives there) aren't helping...they are making it worse.
All throughout my husband's life, his mother has hardly been there. I know that she loves him, but she has never been very encouraging. She never cared where he was, what he was doing, etc. She was completely nonchalent when he dropped out of high school and got into drugs. I was the one who encouraged him to get his diploma, join the military, etc. When he said he wanted to enlist, she was against it, and up until the day he left for boot camp, she kept saying "be realistic...you might not make it." She didn't even go to see him off. I was the one who was with him through the whole adult ed process, enlistment process, saw him onto the plane, etc.
I have always been the one encouraging him, but now that he is gone, everyone else is acting like their lives are over. I just don't understand this. They made it 20 years without encouraging him, or caring what he was doing and what kinds of things were going on in his life, but now that he is in the military, his family acts like I'm not even his wife anymore.
I was talking to my mother in law yesterday about hotels for when he graduates, and I told her that I was going to pay a little extra money for a nicer hotel room for just me and him for his first night after training, and she started acting weird, like she expected us all to share one giant room or something.
I just feel like all of the years that I have been there for him mean nothing, and now his mom is coming back in after 20 years of not really caring too much and staking her claim.
My husband is completely unaware that any of this is going on, since I didn't want to trouble him while he was in boot camp, but I guess deep deep deep down, a very small part of me feels threatened by his mom, like maybe he would stop appreciating me or something.
I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but I can't help but feel that way.
I have no where else to live, so I really need to make this living situation work.
I didn't MAKE him join the Marines. He said he wanted to enlist, and I encouraged him to do it.
It's been really hard having him be gone, and I feel like my mother in law (and her father, who also lives there) aren't helping...they are making it worse.
All throughout my husband's life, his mother has hardly been there. I know that she loves him, but she has never been very encouraging. She never cared where he was, what he was doing, etc. She was completely nonchalent when he dropped out of high school and got into drugs. I was the one who encouraged him to get his diploma, join the military, etc. When he said he wanted to enlist, she was against it, and up until the day he left for boot camp, she kept saying "be realistic...you might not make it." She didn't even go to see him off. I was the one who was with him through the whole adult ed process, enlistment process, saw him onto the plane, etc.
I have always been the one encouraging him, but now that he is gone, everyone else is acting like their lives are over. I just don't understand this. They made it 20 years without encouraging him, or caring what he was doing and what kinds of things were going on in his life, but now that he is in the military, his family acts like I'm not even his wife anymore.
I was talking to my mother in law yesterday about hotels for when he graduates, and I told her that I was going to pay a little extra money for a nicer hotel room for just me and him for his first night after training, and she started acting weird, like she expected us all to share one giant room or something.
I just feel like all of the years that I have been there for him mean nothing, and now his mom is coming back in after 20 years of not really caring too much and staking her claim.
My husband is completely unaware that any of this is going on, since I didn't want to trouble him while he was in boot camp, but I guess deep deep deep down, a very small part of me feels threatened by his mom, like maybe he would stop appreciating me or something.
I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but I can't help but feel that way.
I have no where else to live, so I really need to make this living situation work.
I didn't MAKE him join the Marines. He said he wanted to enlist, and I encouraged him to do it.