How would you explain the financial crisis to a 5th grader?

Simple.
A lot of bad people called liberal Democrats stole money from the banks, claiming the banks were racist for not give people who couldn't afford to pay back the loans.
So the government, the house and senate under the control of the Democrats enacted legislation to force banks to give these people loans, it was really a penalty or fine.
So Bush tried to help the banks by giving the banks a guarantee (insurance on the money they loaded out), but this is exactly what Bill Clinton's friends wanted, so they could legal steal money from the government.
They should all be in jail but because now Obama is president and friends with some of the most notorious gangsters (Chicago Mob) they get a free out of jail card and all the inquiries disappeared.

But you won't tell them the truth; their souls belong to Obama now.

I think you should teach them to grow food in milk cartons so they can feed themselves when they are homeless, because there aren't going to be any jobs for them and the ones who are lucky enough to get a job, won't be able to afford store bought food, even if it is imported from China and Mexico
 
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