How to politely decline in-laws' dinner invitation? ?

[mangopuppy]

I love my mother in law but my father in law tends to become an interrogator / disrespectful to me when my husband is not around. So when my mother in law invites us over for dinner and my husband is working late and can't go, she says "That's ok, just come by yourself." But I don't want to tell her that I don't want to go alone because I don't want to be harassed by my father in law. Can anyone think of a good yet non-offensive way to say thanks but no thanks?

 

[Schnitzle]

Well you can avoid him nicely by saying "oh i'd love to but i'm sorry, i'm just not available" until your husband can go with you. This can be repeated the rest of your life if you want.

Or you can learn how to deflect him. Just because someone asks you questions, and probes, does not mean you have to answer. It's a built in response from school age that we have to answer when asked a question, but we don't. Answering questions with other questions "So when are you going to have kids?"="Oh how soon do you need to know?" or "have you been gaining weight?"="how kind of you to take an interest in my health. +change of subject".

Be ready for the digging probes, and just learn to bat them away, as you would a tennis ball flying at your head. Practice some vague deflections in your head, running questions he's asked you in the past through as a practice, and before you know it, he'll learn that he's not going to get any satisfaction out of interrogating you.

But remember, always ALWAYS do it politely. Manners can be used for evil satisfaction as much as being a goody-two-shoes, but it's way more fun to use them to keep others on their toes.

 

[OnceUponaTime]

Just thank her very much but say you will be more than happy to wait until your husband is free to accompany you. You also need to tell your husband about your FIL and you also need to stand up to him and not be a victim, he is a bully so when you stand up to him he will have to back down.