how to improve my lyrics? (beware its v.emo)?

Dudeeeee

New member
[v1]
The emptiness sits within the core of my soul
this agonising feeling is too much to take
I can feel the gravity weighing me down
happiness I no longer understand
I give up, I throw up my hands
Im Guilty of not being good enough
my mechanical heart begins to crush
And I can't breathe...

[chorus]
Its not right!
Its not fair at all
the only place I feel alive
Is in my dreams!
Shut me out, lock the doors!
I don't belong
I don't wanna be here...
Anymore...

[v2]
Supressed by a world of order and normality
the madness soon takes hold of me
I can't live out my fantasies
I'm not in control...
that vision of a perfect world I see
Its hard to accept that will never be
I'm so numb I can't feel a thing!
It's like I'm in a coma!


[chorus]

[v3]
I'd rather drown than accept this fate
Cut me open and I still wont feel
I'd rather you gauge my eyes than see
this poor excuse for reality!
Push me from a burning building
Make a wish as you see me falling
And I will dream
As I bleed on the ground
I'll be Home...
I was born into chaos all along
Its supposed to be sung quite fast rather than slow.
 
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