How to get out of major depression/mood swings?

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Dr says I am bipolar but I gained too much weight & started hallucinating and daydreaming aout killing my family..dr immediatly took me off meds..every week I would be prescribed something new nothing worked soi stopped taking anything..i also lost my insurance & couldnt afford my dr.. Its been over a year now since ive seen a psychiatrist & I have held a job the past year, got out of a physically and emotionally abusive relationship, lost weight started exercising and eating healthy but lately these past few weeks ive been really depressed. this is kinda sudden & im scared. I am always in a bad mood. I try to think positive but negative thoughts seem to consume me. I am very alone im 24. I live on my own.I also am worried because I dont know what I.want to do with my life..bills are overdue $ is tight my job has been really slow. I work fulltime & am in school but I am losing focus, motivation. How do you decide what you want out of life. I feel I some passion can cure me. Any advice is helpful thankyoy