K so , I'm in 8th grade , 13 almost 14 , and I'm pretty matured for my age . Ever since I was in 5th grade , I have ALWAYS had a REALLY low self esteem , and I'm still dealing with it . Most of the time at school , and at home I'm really quite , and want nothing to do with anyone nor myself . I look into the mirror sometimes , and I don't like what I see . Sometimes , I feel fat . And , I am kinda overweight which makes me feel down even more , I find myself ugly , gross , and unwanted . At school it's a whole different story . You see , I don't got that many friends , but I do have my closest 4 . At my school , we got them popular kids , I let them bother me sooo much , and I care so much of what they think of me . I know I shouldn't , but it's hard for me for some reason . When I come home from school my smile soon fades away-basically I fake a smile . I sometimes cry myself to sleep , and wonder does anyone even know what I'm going through right now.?
To make it worst , I don't get along with my mom or dad . They haven't raised me right , so I basically taught myself what's right and wrong for me . I argue with them a lot , and it gotten to the point where my dad has threatened to kick me outta the house . I have cut cause in my opinion it's easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain . I just want to know how to cope with all this shit , and how I can go through all of this without feeling down .? Should I go visit a CYC teacher at my school.? If I do , what do I say.? :$ I guess what I'm trying to wrap up here is that I need help to full recovery :'(
Heres a picture of me just in case you wanna knwo what I look like .
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2jgmly&s=7
To make it worst , I don't get along with my mom or dad . They haven't raised me right , so I basically taught myself what's right and wrong for me . I argue with them a lot , and it gotten to the point where my dad has threatened to kick me outta the house . I have cut cause in my opinion it's easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain . I just want to know how to cope with all this shit , and how I can go through all of this without feeling down .? Should I go visit a CYC teacher at my school.? If I do , what do I say.? :$ I guess what I'm trying to wrap up here is that I need help to full recovery :'(Heres a picture of me just in case you wanna knwo what I look like .
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2jgmly&s=7