How this rap verse? Outta 10?

123456

New member
He just didn't get it, rap was suppose to be rhythmic and poetic
What the hell was he doing? his gimmick was pathetic
See, all the fans were booing, They saw his lyrics were synthetic
Someone shoulda got the defibrillator, this mans bars needed a medic!
And you know he's about to blow up when his eyes start twitching
But, could he overpower the sold out crowd, and their arts of b*tching?
They all didn't think so, to all the guys, he was just another joke
He was getting killed on this stage, life passed before him
Nose smothered with coc, sufferin being broke, disonnected with his folks
Then he awoke, coughed a little and spoke
The crowd started laughing thinkin' he was gonna choke
But, he ignored them and was perfectly demonstrating
The guys passion was goin' off the charts, it was escalating
Turning this whole show into a bomb, it was detonating
Every note he had, he was calm, but still penetrating
Dude was sheer fire, he was growing, his game was elevating

Then it goes to a chorus, then the next verse is about him messing up and landing him no where, ending up in the streets after bankruptcy, but I don't know what to do with the third verse.
Any ideas?
 
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