How strong is my common application essay?

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New member
Most people who know me would have considered me as the last person they would think of to be involved in an organization such as Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps (R.O.T.C.). Soft-spoken and reserved but driven and passionate, I could not see myself in the abnormal uniform my older sister wore every Wednesday to school. What was I getting myself into? All eyes peered toward me when I walked into my first class the very first day I wore my new uniform. I had come out of my “safety box” and had taken a risk to join Junior R.O.T.C. This risk ended up teaching me many invaluable things and became the most rewarding experience in my life.
Throughout my time in Junior R.O.T.C., there were several instances in which I wanted to give up my journey. During my freshman year, I was not physically fit or mentally strong. The only thing I wanted to do was blend in with my fellow classmates and peers and not to stand out in any way. Frustration and anxiety overwhelmed me every Tuesday night as I tried to perfect my uniform so I could earn the highest grade for inspection the next day. Juggling all of this with school work and stepping away from my norm, I did not think I would last long in this organization.
The more days, weeks, and months went by during my high school career, I felt myself becoming stronger, both as an individual and as a student. As a result of all the presentations, inspections, team projects, and community service events I had been involved in, I was able to clearly express my thoughts and defend my arguments. I was not afraid to speak up for myself and I did not place any more effort to please others by trying to be someone that I was not; I learned to accept myself as I was. By participating in parades, I had the opportunity to display all my hard work and endure with self-discipline. If I had not joined Junior R.O.T.C., I would not be as strong of a person as I am today.
My perseverance, self-motivation, and readiness to work to the best of my ability in any given situation have enabled me to develop and overcome obstacles to achieve my goals. My strong willpower and persistence has enabled me to be involved and lead several organizations (JROTC, Robotics Team, Hunger Awareness Club, etc.) while maintaining strong grades during my high school career. Junior R.O.T.C. has honed my time management skills by helping me sort out my priorities, which would be of great value wherever I go. As a result of my interest and passion in mathematics and biology, I hope to become an accountant or nurse in the future to benefit those around me. I am fascinated and excited to study and learn more about the world around me and how to improve it. Without the lasting learning experience that I had gained from Junior R.O.T.C., I would not be as adamant about my future goals.
I am grateful and fortunate that I have the opportunity to acquire higher education because attending college is one of the best things an individual can do for his or her self. I will take advantage of all the opportunities available to me and will hopefully further develop myself into a person of outstanding excellence of my generation. I hope to put forth the knowledge I will gain in college to enrich the fabric of society and be able to help others in the way that the Junior R.O.T.C. organization has helped me.
 
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