How long into a relationship a couple should wait before they totally let their hair down during sex- I think at first sex is usually vanilla- then after a time kinky stuff, like S&M and role playing comes in. I'd like my girlfriend to tie me down and humiliate me- but don't know how or when i should tell her- any suggestions? Sex is good, but I think we are both holding back.I think she wasnts to be tied up too- How do I bring up the topic of S&M?