how is this rough draft of my poem?

?Kyuubi?

New member
It was just another lazy afternoon next to you,
under clear skies so blue,
and you didn't have a clue what you meant to me.
So you just wallowed in blissful ignorance,
as I contemplated what my life meant.
Trying to count back my years spent.

In that hollow chest of yours,
I always had faith,
never requesting more.
One heart was enough between us.
Under the celestial orb,
on that lazy afternoon.

The long grass caressed our ankles like fingers,
as we ran though the fields,
and I allowed my feelings to linger,
as we'd sprawl out and watch the clouds roll on by...
Flowing on a fixed current of no escape.
As they took shapes.

But it could never last,
the good became past.
You were gone.
And as I look back on those lazy afternoons,
picnics under the moons;
I feel sorrow.
Sorrow that I'll not see you tomorrow.
No memories spared or borrowed,
without you.
 
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