M
mel486
Guest
Thanks for posting a great story. I cannot believe how much OC you were taking. It's stories like yours that makes this board worthwhile. Great job!!
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eddie195455
Guest
i think i should explain alittle more, i believe in oxy, i have just never meet anybody that keep it in control, i started on 5mg percs inside 1 year i was prescribed, legitimately, per month 90 80 mg oxycontin 90 20 mg oxycontin and 360 little blue 30mg oxycodone for breakthru pain of course...........i would burn thru up my nose all the contin in 10 days and try and hold on with the 30's till i could resupply, PEOPLE PLEASE REALIZE, DO NOT FEAR, YOU CAN BEAT THIS, sub is expensive but so is oxy, i still hurt but not like the pain of laying in your bed in the middle of the night, alone. actually i am not per say a strong man, but i chose life, the high is gone, it will not come back, if your abusing your losing,
my heart goes out to those reading this in the middle of the night thinking there is no hope...........there really is, but it is up to you......
my heart goes out to those reading this in the middle of the night thinking there is no hope...........there really is, but it is up to you......
D
Dryseeker
Guest
Hello everybody
I havent visited this site in over a year; I had to be certain I could finally declare victory over this insidious chemical that owned me. I was a recreational drug user (mainly marijuana) when I first discovered OC in 2000. Of course it was total bliss; in 2004 after having spinal fusion surgery I didnt complain when I entered a Pain Mgmt program. I developed a 40MG a day addiction quickly and would become quite sick when I ran out early; I remeraber thinking my addiction was getting out of control. Little did I know what the future would hold.
Fast forward to 2008; my addiction now consisted of 500+ mg of Oxycodone each & every day. Every day I would eat 6 30MG Roxicodone tablets before work, 3 more for my morning snack, 6 after work and 3 for the evening. To say I was out of control was a gross understatement; in retrospect Im not sure how I lived thru it. The last 6 months were the worst period of my addiction; I would sometimes drop 240MG at once to try to get high without success. In short I was in misery with or without it. I was blowing thru 300 pills in less than 3 weeks!
Amazingly I was always able to BS my Doctor into filling the script; I cannot tell you how many spinal injections and nerve burning procedures I faked needing just to get more pills (The pain from my surgery had left a long time ago-it was all about OC by then) I cannot recall how many times I ran out early and suffered thru wicked withdrawals.
I was so desperate by March of this year; I had lost ALL hope of ever getting free. I was so tired of the monthly drama of running out; I tried so many things to cut back (Bought and broke multiple safes after having my wife lock them up to "ration" me off them) Finally after being warned by my Pain clinic I was pushing things and still not being able to control things I pulled the plug and tried Suboxone.
Though I was VERY sick the first few days I was on sub it still allowed me to return to work after missing only 1 week; from there everything got better. Dont get me wrong I still thought of OC however the memories werent fond; I wasnt missing the high as that had faded so long ago; I just remerabered the fear and desperation and the fact I was absolutely owned.
I may be in the minority however I had absolutley no problem quitting suboxone though I stayed on it for almost 7 months. I guess it was easy to me to taper as it never gave me any type of a high; to me OC was incredibly mentally addcitive so I absolutely craved the high. After so long of being on it it just became a burden.
The main benefit of sub though was allowing me to return to a semi-normal state of mind within a week; I truly believe with the size of my addiction going cold turkey wasnt an option. Im so lucky in so many respects as I was able to hang on to my wife and career (barely) Im also fortunate I only took straight Oxycodone without acetimenophen (spelling?) I still have a hard time believing my daily intake was = to 100 5MG percocet in terms of OC content.
I also feel like I had to reach a state of utter misery before I decided to do something about it; even though I knew what I was doing to myself I just couldnt taper off (If you have a large supply at your disposal you cannot taper off IMO) Another positive thing was the fact I cut off my only supply by dropping the pain clinic (Im a 40 something professional with no contacts)
Its just amazing what your tolerance can turn into and how quickly you lose control. To those of you who find yourself where I was dont give up; I hope you can find the willpower to quit by yourself. If you cant dont be ashamed; I tried everything I could however it just isnt an easy thing to beat. Another thing I discovered is unless you have been there its hard for people to relate to what you are going thru.
Best of luck to those of you trying to be free; I promise you it can be done (When YOU have finally had enough-only you can take the first step......................God Bless Dry
I havent visited this site in over a year; I had to be certain I could finally declare victory over this insidious chemical that owned me. I was a recreational drug user (mainly marijuana) when I first discovered OC in 2000. Of course it was total bliss; in 2004 after having spinal fusion surgery I didnt complain when I entered a Pain Mgmt program. I developed a 40MG a day addiction quickly and would become quite sick when I ran out early; I remeraber thinking my addiction was getting out of control. Little did I know what the future would hold.
Fast forward to 2008; my addiction now consisted of 500+ mg of Oxycodone each & every day. Every day I would eat 6 30MG Roxicodone tablets before work, 3 more for my morning snack, 6 after work and 3 for the evening. To say I was out of control was a gross understatement; in retrospect Im not sure how I lived thru it. The last 6 months were the worst period of my addiction; I would sometimes drop 240MG at once to try to get high without success. In short I was in misery with or without it. I was blowing thru 300 pills in less than 3 weeks!
Amazingly I was always able to BS my Doctor into filling the script; I cannot tell you how many spinal injections and nerve burning procedures I faked needing just to get more pills (The pain from my surgery had left a long time ago-it was all about OC by then) I cannot recall how many times I ran out early and suffered thru wicked withdrawals.
I was so desperate by March of this year; I had lost ALL hope of ever getting free. I was so tired of the monthly drama of running out; I tried so many things to cut back (Bought and broke multiple safes after having my wife lock them up to "ration" me off them) Finally after being warned by my Pain clinic I was pushing things and still not being able to control things I pulled the plug and tried Suboxone.
Though I was VERY sick the first few days I was on sub it still allowed me to return to work after missing only 1 week; from there everything got better. Dont get me wrong I still thought of OC however the memories werent fond; I wasnt missing the high as that had faded so long ago; I just remerabered the fear and desperation and the fact I was absolutely owned.
I may be in the minority however I had absolutley no problem quitting suboxone though I stayed on it for almost 7 months. I guess it was easy to me to taper as it never gave me any type of a high; to me OC was incredibly mentally addcitive so I absolutely craved the high. After so long of being on it it just became a burden.
The main benefit of sub though was allowing me to return to a semi-normal state of mind within a week; I truly believe with the size of my addiction going cold turkey wasnt an option. Im so lucky in so many respects as I was able to hang on to my wife and career (barely) Im also fortunate I only took straight Oxycodone without acetimenophen (spelling?) I still have a hard time believing my daily intake was = to 100 5MG percocet in terms of OC content.
I also feel like I had to reach a state of utter misery before I decided to do something about it; even though I knew what I was doing to myself I just couldnt taper off (If you have a large supply at your disposal you cannot taper off IMO) Another positive thing was the fact I cut off my only supply by dropping the pain clinic (Im a 40 something professional with no contacts)
Its just amazing what your tolerance can turn into and how quickly you lose control. To those of you who find yourself where I was dont give up; I hope you can find the willpower to quit by yourself. If you cant dont be ashamed; I tried everything I could however it just isnt an easy thing to beat. Another thing I discovered is unless you have been there its hard for people to relate to what you are going thru.
Best of luck to those of you trying to be free; I promise you it can be done (When YOU have finally had enough-only you can take the first step......................God Bless Dry
R
reachout
Guest
Hello Dryseeker
How great to see your name and how fantastic to read your news. A year! Wonderful, just absolutley wonderful.
I am also over a year now off the Oxycodone and the Xanax. Life is good free of the hold of the damn drugs, huh? Big smiles.
Looking back on your story and the amount being used daily, I know there had to be some Heavenly intervention keeping you alive. The horror of your story is only supassed by the victory in it.
Stay strong, Dryseeker, and may your life seeking efforts now produce all great things for you.
With fondness
reach
How great to see your name and how fantastic to read your news. A year! Wonderful, just absolutley wonderful.
I am also over a year now off the Oxycodone and the Xanax. Life is good free of the hold of the damn drugs, huh? Big smiles.
Looking back on your story and the amount being used daily, I know there had to be some Heavenly intervention keeping you alive. The horror of your story is only supassed by the victory in it.
Stay strong, Dryseeker, and may your life seeking efforts now produce all great things for you.
With fondness
reach
R
readerroz
Guest
Thanks for your inspiring story. How wonderful you have such a supportive wife.
I'm a little over 4 weeks clean, and with each day that passes I feel stronger, and have less fear of relapse.
It's very encouraging to read posts of success such as yours. Again, thanks for sharing.
I'm a little over 4 weeks clean, and with each day that passes I feel stronger, and have less fear of relapse.
It's very encouraging to read posts of success such as yours. Again, thanks for sharing.
D
Dryseeker
Guest
Reach
Its fantastic to see your still here helping people; I remeraber you responding to my initial post one bad morning in 2006. It was a rough ride for a long time; I finally just knew it had to end. All things considered I got off easy as Im blessed to have a wife who stuck with me and Im fortunate enough to have enough income to afford suboxone. I sometimes feel like I was possessed when I reflect on my addiction; it was slowly killing me. I still suffer from appetite loss and occasional depression however I feel good for the most part. Great to hear from you Reach-the world neeRAB more people like you in it!
Its fantastic to see your still here helping people; I remeraber you responding to my initial post one bad morning in 2006. It was a rough ride for a long time; I finally just knew it had to end. All things considered I got off easy as Im blessed to have a wife who stuck with me and Im fortunate enough to have enough income to afford suboxone. I sometimes feel like I was possessed when I reflect on my addiction; it was slowly killing me. I still suffer from appetite loss and occasional depression however I feel good for the most part. Great to hear from you Reach-the world neeRAB more people like you in it!
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emsmom
Guest
Hello dryseeker,
So nice to see you posting again. I remeraber you from when I first joined. Congratulations on your success. I too, was taking 500+ OC a day. It can be done, you and I are proof of that.
With admiration,
emsmom
So nice to see you posting again. I remeraber you from when I first joined. Congratulations on your success. I too, was taking 500+ OC a day. It can be done, you and I are proof of that.
With admiration,
emsmom
1
1225
Guest
i was at hooked on 80mg oc also. I would snort up to ten a day so i know the pain you went through. Keep up the good work
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eddie195455
Guest
i am new to this but had to comment how happy i am for you, i to reciently got off over 800mg a day habit with sub, itt does amaze me how easy it was to con the doc into giving me more, nothing aginst him, i was the lyer. suboxone worked great for me......hang in there congrats
S
Secrets1983
Guest
Hello Dryseeker!
It's a pleasure to meet you. Your story is SOOOOO inspirational. Honestly, if you got thru that there is no reason I should not be keeping myself clean.
Thank you SOOOOO much for sharing your story with board, I know it will help someone out there and give them inspiration.
Many blessings to you!
It's a pleasure to meet you. Your story is SOOOOO inspirational. Honestly, if you got thru that there is no reason I should not be keeping myself clean.
Thank you SOOOOO much for sharing your story with board, I know it will help someone out there and give them inspiration.
Many blessings to you!
K
koa2341
Guest
Dryseeker- Congrats- Really nice story?? I'd like to ask if you're still around and checking this- Is is possible to take this stuff without having problems and getting addicted?? For 6-7 years?? I am up to 135 mg per day and been having problems- Just diagnosed Bi-Polar which doesn't help?? What is the responsibility of Dr's that participate in a person's addiction?? Have you ever heard of successful legal action in such matters??
I
icehouse3z
Guest
Dryseeker....how you doin? i read ur story, i could relate very well to it. my average intake of OC was 400mg per day, somedays higher than that. really insane amounts. how are you doing now without the pills in your life? do u go to NA or any support groups? hope to hear from you.