How hard is it to wrangle custody from a biological mother?

S

Sniper Bukakke

New member
Sorry if this is long winded. This woman is my boyfriend's ex and the mother of their child. She has full legal custody but the child stays just as much at my boyfriend's mother's house as he does with her. This woman is 20 years old, she has never, not once had a job of any shape or form, she does not have a car, no stable place to live, she bounces between friends' houses and her alcoholic father's house with the baby in tow. When she's not out with her friends until all hours of the night she is smoking marijuana, drinking or playing xbox and then sleeps in until 2 in the afternoon. Most of the time the baby isn't even in her care, he is either staying with her father or at my boyfriend's mother's house but she still gets full benefits, welfare and the whole deal from the state of Michigan. She has just recently filed for child support from my boyfriend and we all know where this money is going to go, on alcohol, makeup, fun money, etc etc.

We all want to get the baby away from her and into the care of the baby's grandmother, who has been more of a mother to him than this woman ever has, she buys all his diapers, food, formula, clothes, everything! She talks to him, dresses him, actually bathes him every day unlike her and is just wonderful to him. They have a stable income, a house they have lived in for 20 years and everything he could ever want, he doesn't need to be dragged around from house to rundown house with his so called "mother".

I would just like to know what the procedure is for initiating something like this. My boyfriend and his mother have already been keeping track of everything, every time he comes to them unwashed and dirty, every time he's dumped off somewhere so she can go out and party, everything. I'm also curious as to how difficult it would be to win a case like this given the evidence and circumstances because I've heard that courts almost always favor the mother, no matter how much of a mess she is.

Thanks for any and all input. And if you're going to judge, lecture or be rude, no thanks, please don't post. :)
 
Call a lawyer, tell them the story and ask them what you need to do. It would be easier for your boyfriend to get custody then the grandmother. If he is on the birth certificate then he should have partial custody, if he isn't on it he needs to get put on it NOW, it will be a lot easier to do things of he is on it.

Good luck!
 
The problem with all of this is that in a couple years, the mom will be much more mature and most likely will be a better parent. Right now, it is best to support and help the mom however you all can. In the end, she is the baby's mom. Trying to take the baby away from the mom will do harm to the child in the long run.
 
The only thing you can do is DOCUMENT EVERYTHING that she does, and hope that a Judge agrees with you that it is more detrimental to the child than not being in her custody, or being able to see her, would be. The LEGAL presumption that is ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE to override is that a child HAS to have the benefit of a natural mother (and father, believe it or not!). She has to be found to be so DETRIMENTAL to the child's well-being that that presumption can be overridden, by the PREPONDERANCE OF THE EVIDENCE.
Good luck!
 
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