How does my poetry sound?

Peter

New member
honest opinion!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9csedXk7-3c
its over music
heres just the poem:
A perfection in the seam
A morning under the covers, and a night on top of pillows
The rustiling of the comforter in a mid morning love
A song of insanity, drenched in love and dripping happiness
Romantic thoughts dance through my head
Like children they jump on each side of my brain
Unwilling to go to sleep
They scream, and laugh with there mouths open wide
As they fear for there lives, unwilling to die

Green is the sky and blue underneath
As I loose my head in yours
And in a rage of confusion, back to the earth we fall
In each others arms
Be free, be fine, become lost in the feathers
That flow freely along the countries divide
No more shall the babies weep be heard
Like laughter turned upside down
Eyes that hypnotize me with a melody of burning apiration
A mess of chords,
of glowing numina perched inside a window in your soul

Choose life
Choose your soul
Choose freedom
Choose love
Choose you

Standing silently at the end of the world
The Golden lights of the street catch the whole sky a blaze
And stars fall to the ground like angels, exploding into a sunburst on the mouth of the valley
We sit on a hill far above the world
Like a tower in castle, everything can be seen
But my eyes are on my velvet queen
Love can give life, love can give death
Love can stay alive on just one breath
 
Back
Top