How do you develop a quick tongue, sharp mind?

asdf

New member
When speaking to people, sometimes I finally think up the "correct answer" about 30 seconds later.

How do I improve my responce time without speaking so fast that I end up making myself look stupid?

How can talk fast/respond fast but still think?

I don't want to speak without thinking or think but respond way later.

Also, developing humor. I'm funny, I've heard, but my humor is a stupid kind of humor, apparently :/.
I don't like being seen as stupid. I'm inapproperiate, I've heard from some and I say things that don't match the situation. My friends find it funny but are also at the same time annoyed with it.

How can I be more witty?

Gee, I think everyone sees me as plain stupid or something.
 
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