how do you deal with a family members discussing my personal issues with their friends?

L

lilly O

New member
I made a bad investment a year ago and I did a very good job keeping it private. I am ashamed and I never want to discuss it. I privately mentioned small details to my cousin in private. Word spread so fast and i have my parents asking me and distant cousins discussing it my entire family is talking about my personal private financial life. Even going as far as mentioning it at a party "oh so I heard ........." I am ashamed and hurt. I was not ready to answer any questions about it for a long time. In my point of view this is almost as shallow as asking someone " so i heard you are in rehab." What should I do?
 
Confront the cousin you confided in, tell them that you are deeply hurt by them spreading rumours/gossipping about your personal problems that you trusted them with to confide in.

Unfortunately for you the damage is already done. Hope for an apology and hopefully the gossip will stop if your family has any sense, just be distant they'll get the hint, if not tell them the second they open their mouths to shut-up.

I have a family just like that, it got to a point I wouldnt talk to any of them about any of my problems, issues or life in general. Once when I was 14 my mum found out that yes I had my period (shock) and I had lied about it for over year because I didn't trust her enough to tell her. She was hurt, and didn't understand how I could mean that. Until my older sister piped up and agreed and told her how hurt she was when she had told her things in confidence and it had been repeated. Now she is more trustworthy and we can talk more openly (though I admit I still wont confide in her if I can avoid it).
 
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