how do you avoid someone trying to bait you into an argument?

L

lola seelster

New member
i have a friend that seems to enjoy baiting people into an argument, everything turns into a debate, also when i try to tell him how something he just said was insensitive and hurtful he will turn around and bring up something i said or did like 2 years ago to throw in my face ....

example.......

"joe i dont appreciate you raising your voice to me/screaming at me" him: "yea well i dont appreciate things you say or do either like that time when you blah blah blah" "um joe that happened like over a year ago and we already discussed it and i apologized for it and you accepted, right now i am talking about what you just said/did a minute ago" joe: "see its always about you, you never want to hear about what you do wrong, you only want to talk about how bad i am"

how do you deal with someone like this?!?!?!

why am i friends with this person, because alot of the time he is a good friend and a decent person, til he gets in his moods (may be bipolar but not sure he hasn't been diagnosed)

he does wrong, i confront him about it, and he brings up something i did from the past to throw in my face as a weapon and winds up turning the tables on me, putting me where i am now defending myself
 
Just say you want to be treated as he wants to be treated, with respect. If he was really a true friend, he would understand. Do not go on the aggressive, because that will make him defensive. Say "please stop. I really don't like it when we fight ( or insert other action here) I know you may not feel the best right now, but I want us to spend time being friends and supporting each other, not tearing each other down. What happened in the past doesn't matter for both of us. I forgive you, and apologize if I've ever accused you out of turn, and I hope you can forgive me too if I ever did something wrong. Let's not fight anymore."
 
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