Whisper Love
New member
My boyfriend & I have been together for 9 months. I remember going into the relationship feeling so happy, & loved, always bragging to my friends about how amazing he is, and how our love was just perfect.
But lately, I feel like our days are numbered. I just feel like this relationship is coming to a close, the doors are closing, the relationship is going to end anyday now. It's almost impossible to communicate any issues we have involving eachother, everything is an arguement, the ulimate game of 'he said, she said' we are always pointing fingers.
We can make up, and promise eachother things are going to change a thousand times, but they never do. We can argue over the color, 'red or blue'. Before me, he smoked weed, drank alot, got into fights, dropped out of school -- and because of me, he's going back to school in the fall, got a job, and doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Sometimes, I've just felt like he was kind of a project, I molded him into everything I wanted a boyfriend to be, and somehow it just still wasn't good enough. I don't know if I ever fell in love with him, or if I force it, just to say I did it, I changed his life, I made him happy, I made him fall in love, even if I made him happy for a minute, I know that it was all worth it for me.
So maybe I do love him? I don't know. I just feel really weakened and useless in the relationship, and I've always been strong & independant before him after I made a vow to myself I would never beg for someones love -- ever. If they want to leave, I'm not going to stop them, to me, showing a guy you are weak, makes them believe they have a higher power over you, that they can treat you like dirt..
So maybe this comes from somewhere else? I don't know I'm just rambling... *ugh, sigh someone help me..
But lately, I feel like our days are numbered. I just feel like this relationship is coming to a close, the doors are closing, the relationship is going to end anyday now. It's almost impossible to communicate any issues we have involving eachother, everything is an arguement, the ulimate game of 'he said, she said' we are always pointing fingers.
We can make up, and promise eachother things are going to change a thousand times, but they never do. We can argue over the color, 'red or blue'. Before me, he smoked weed, drank alot, got into fights, dropped out of school -- and because of me, he's going back to school in the fall, got a job, and doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Sometimes, I've just felt like he was kind of a project, I molded him into everything I wanted a boyfriend to be, and somehow it just still wasn't good enough. I don't know if I ever fell in love with him, or if I force it, just to say I did it, I changed his life, I made him happy, I made him fall in love, even if I made him happy for a minute, I know that it was all worth it for me.
So maybe I do love him? I don't know. I just feel really weakened and useless in the relationship, and I've always been strong & independant before him after I made a vow to myself I would never beg for someones love -- ever. If they want to leave, I'm not going to stop them, to me, showing a guy you are weak, makes them believe they have a higher power over you, that they can treat you like dirt..
So maybe this comes from somewhere else? I don't know I'm just rambling... *ugh, sigh someone help me..