How do I get over an emotional wound from a cousin who just doesn't get it?

ycantibhappy

New member
I made an attempt to get back in touch with a cousin who I considered my big sister after losing contact with her for a couple of years. She sounded sincere and like she really missed me. We got together a few times where she dragged me around to home improvement stores because she was decorating her bathroom. One time I stood around while she talked to the sales person until the store was closing. My husband and I went over to her house to install a bathroom light. After that we didn't hear from her, so I again emailed her. The calls and visits stopped from her. Then her daughter gets pregnant and then she emails me to invite me to the shower. I told her I was upset that I only hear from family when there is a wedding, funeral of shower. Then she tells me it was me who dropped off the face of the earth when really it was her who stopped calling and visiting after she used me to be dragged to home improvement stores. I want to be able to move on and not let her use or hurt me anymore, but it pops into my mind every now and then. I don't want to think about how she doesn't have any need for me in her life except for decorating advice.
 
I have a female cousin who is five years older than me, and I consider her to be a big sister to me too.
We have lived three to ten miles apart for much of our 50+ years.

I too have felt hurt that she does not call me more than once a year. But I don't call her often either. I have been invited to showers and weddings for her daughters, and then have no contact from her for a year afterward.

I know she is a busy grandma, learned from a visit to her, and through our various Internet social sites. We are both busy.

I do stop by to see her once a year or less, and she is always glad to have me visit. People are busy, so don't expect from from your cousin.
Family does not always make a permanent friendship ring.
 
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