Mah Leather So Soft
New member
OK, im a female, 18 yrs old.. well heres the story, in highschool, like tenth grade year i came out as gay. well the thing is im not gay. i actually am more attracted to boys, but i came out gay and started dressing differently, you dressing the whole butch girl thing. knowing damn well if i saw a boy i'd be like damn. i was somewhat attracted to girls, too but not a whole lot. i think i just wanted attention but its something about boy clothes that gives you a whole new swag or aura i might say, but i juust really wanted to fit in i think im not sure. but in my heart i was a whole lot girly and wanted to do girly stuff but now ive been dressing like this for about 3 or 4 years now and i want to stop. i want to be able to dress girly and hang out with the girls but its like im stuck in the past. its almost like im trying to be someone im not. i feel bored with life now.i feel so unhappy about my social life. i have friends but i dont have the friends i want. i wish i couldve just kept my homosexual feelings and desires to myself and still dressed the same. i use to wear lots of girly stuff and life was happy, go lucky but now since ive been trying to put on this masculine role. its not working. im not attracting the real people i want to be in my life. all im attracting is these people that want me to be something im not. can someone help me out? did anyone feel like this before?