Again, no one knows what you've been through and are going through until they have walked in your shoes...be it horrendous back pain or the pain of addiction and all its tag-along problems.
I'm sorry your family is not more supportive...but I think with time, your sisters will see from your actions that you are taking control of your life and your health, and you are making every attempt to get back on what they might consider "the right path." Your actions will be more meaningful than any worRAB, I would guess.
I have had three spine surgeries, which does not exactly make me a veteran, but I do have plenty of perspective. I had to fight very hard for my most recent surgery as both my surgeons (from surgeries #1 and #2) looked at the new MRI and each told me there was nothing to be done. One gave me a pep talk on when do you draw the line and say "enough is enough?" He said that there was no sign of nerve compression, even though all my symptoms were the very same as prior to ever having set foot in a back doctor's office. He said he could not justify any more surgery as he could see no nerve compression.
My second surgeon basically initially said the same thing....they both told me to try a spinal cord stimulator. But I knew something mechanical was wrong, whether they could see it or not. I won't go into the whole story as it is long...but I persevered and eventually convinced surgeon # 2 that there were issues. I had been told I had permanent nerve damage and that my sciatic-type pain would probably always be with me.
I had intense pain for four days after surgery, and then the nerve pain went away and I haven't had it since. Also, when my surgeon got in there, he was astonished at what he found. We were thinking my worst issues were at L5-S1 as that's what my symptoms indicated, and the nerve blocks as well. Turns out the facet joints at L3 and L4 were worn down to little nibs, which allowed my spine to move in ways God had not intended. For some strange reason, this had not shown up on any imaging I had done. It was a complete surprise...so he ended up having to perform reconstructive surgery. I was very lucky in that he was a trauma surgeon for years before he went back to school and did a fellowship in the spine...so I was in good hanRAB!
Now, on to my point (I know, finally): physical therapy. I have had a different PT after each surgery. As I mentioned, with the first surgery I began PT and stopped a couple times because I just didn't feel I was ready. After this surgery, which was a 3 level fusion plus the reconstruction, my surgeon was VERY conservative with me. I wore a back brace for the first time and my activities were severely restricted. We went on vacation about 10 weeks after surgery and he would not even let me go wading in the lake...let alone swim. He did not want to risk me slipping and falling. (translation: He didn't want me to mess up all his hard work!!) So when I finally started PT which was at 12 weeks, I would get three things to work on for that week. Then I would go back and tell the PT how it was going, and I usually ended up getting at least one of the exercises taken away.
They wanted me working ever so slowly. They were looking for the fine balance between giving me just enough work that my muscles were working, but they didn't want me causing any kind of flare up of the sciatic nerve. I was not allowed to do anything but walk, not on a treadmill, and do a handful of exercises. I thought I would never be able to build up any strength, but it is coming back mainly just through activities of daily living. I now have no restrictions other than that gold standard: "If it hurts, don't do it."
So don't get discouraged that you can't do the PT exercises twice per day as the therapist wants...we are not all cookie-cutter patients. Some of us can do it twice a day, but others actually have their progress slowed down by doing what is "too much" for them. The MOST important thing I learned is to learn to listen to your body. You may have to confront your therapist if you decide what is being requested is too much, but just remeraber, ultimately it is you who has to pay the price if your activities cause a flare.
I think you sound like you are coming along nicely. I cannot say this often enough: Recovery is a very long process. Everything seems to take way longer than any of us think it should, AND there is almost nothing we can do to hurry the process along. Learning patience is a great gift.
I learned not to look at my progress from day to day, or sometimes even week to week. You will be amazed how quickly the time goes by...and at a point in the near future, you will suddenly realize how far you've come. So, just hang in there....
