How do I deal with my Disrespectful Spoiled Brat son who never does anything?

[Nick]

He is completely self-absorbed and refuses to get a job or go to college. The problem is that his mother spoils him like crazy with the money she makes and buys him expensive "toys" and she does all his clothes and makes his bed, cooks his food, etc. even though he's 19 now. He still sleeps in the same room he had as a baby and has no intention of leaving it. All he wants to do is stay home and play with his new playstation/x-box/ipod/ipad/computer, etc...or else go skateboarding with his friends. He also smokes pot with them. When I tell him to get a job he lies about trying to find one and it never happens. I love my son, but I am tired of him thinking he's still 10 years old. I know it will make his mom really upset, but do I have a right to lose my temper at this point?