I'm 26 and still living at home because I'm too poor to move out. I'm at university studying for my second degree (in law) so I can become a lawyer and have a higher paid job. At the same time I hold down a reasonably well paid part-time job, but it's going to be a while until I can pay off my previous student debts and save a sensible anount of money to move out.
I do love my parents but the thing is... living at home is really getting me down and starting to drive me crazy! I don't know how to handle it without going insane? My parents treat my like I'm 16 rather than 26. They are devout christians and won't let me go away and stay overnight with my boyfriend (of a year who is 34) who lives 3 hours away, even though they do really like him. They don't want me to have pre-marital sex. If I even tried to stay the night with my boyfriend (who wants to marry me), dad would go crazy and make me feel really bad like some disgusting terrible person... and says it would kill him to see his daughter "living in sin". But I just want to spend quality time with the man I love, because I only get to see him at weekends, and it seems a lot of driving to only see him for part of the day... it would even be nice to just spend a night with him with no sex (which would be enough for him because he loves me that much). But even then, my parents wouldn't trust me with my own body and they wouldn't allow it to happen! They would hide my car keys or something ridiculous! They would have a shouting match with me and fall out with me & my boyfriend... which I really want to avoid at all costs!
Also... our home is a mess! Mum will make a horrendous mess of the kitchen cooking (I often eat separately because I'm vegetarian) then she will tell me to clean up all the pans and dishes she has used, even though I had nothing to do with them. Then if I don't clean everyone elses's mess, she'll get really stroppy and angry. Also our laundry room is just a big mass of scrumpled up washing (none of it is mine because I do my own laundry separately) but mum leaves all the clothes lying on the floor saying she can't do it because she's too busy. She doesn't even work... she's a housewife! So why doesn't she have time? Often when I come home from work, I see her lying on the sofa just watching TV. When I come home from university or work I sometimes want to just sit down and relax for a couple of hours, but she makes me feel guilty, as though I should be doing more housework instead. I do help when I can, I just need to relax sometimes!
Then there's my dad.... he doesn't help me out much at all. He knows I'm poor, but he just doesn't seem to care. He'll ask me to go out and buy all his chistmas presents for mum (because he's too busy working), tells me he will pay me back... they conveniently forgets to (even though I'm a poor student - even more poor because I spent my christmas bonus on a holiday for them to Paris). He said he would help me pay my university fees, but he doesn't remember and I pay them all myself. I feel guilty reminding him or asking for help, so I just don't.
I'm a good daughter... I'm working really hard to improve my life. I never ask my parents for money or help. I never stay out too late, I don't go out and get drunk... infact my parents drink more than I do. My older brother and sister are married and living elsewhere, but my younger sister still lives here too. My parents say I have to set a good example to her because she's 12. I feel trapped... I can't be myself and enjoy life to the full.I want to have an adult relationship with my boyfriend, and not worry and feel guilty that dad is staying up all night worrying that I'm having sex.... which I feel it completely up to me at this age. I want to move out so badly, I just can't afford to do that for another year. My boyfriend likes that I live at home and says I should just stay there until we get married and have our own house in a couple of years... he says I'm the one and he wants to be with me forever, but I'm just scared that my parent's strict ways will freak him out and drive him away. How do I cope in the meantime??? It's starting to make me feel depressed :-( I'm a good person really, I deserve to be happy... I even feel bad writing this, like I have no reason to complain and should just deal with it. Aaaahh.... I don't want to upset my parents, but I really just want to live a normal happy life!! I want to be able to concentrate on my studies instead of worrying about homelife and feeling down... am I being selfish?
I do love my parents but the thing is... living at home is really getting me down and starting to drive me crazy! I don't know how to handle it without going insane? My parents treat my like I'm 16 rather than 26. They are devout christians and won't let me go away and stay overnight with my boyfriend (of a year who is 34) who lives 3 hours away, even though they do really like him. They don't want me to have pre-marital sex. If I even tried to stay the night with my boyfriend (who wants to marry me), dad would go crazy and make me feel really bad like some disgusting terrible person... and says it would kill him to see his daughter "living in sin". But I just want to spend quality time with the man I love, because I only get to see him at weekends, and it seems a lot of driving to only see him for part of the day... it would even be nice to just spend a night with him with no sex (which would be enough for him because he loves me that much). But even then, my parents wouldn't trust me with my own body and they wouldn't allow it to happen! They would hide my car keys or something ridiculous! They would have a shouting match with me and fall out with me & my boyfriend... which I really want to avoid at all costs!
Also... our home is a mess! Mum will make a horrendous mess of the kitchen cooking (I often eat separately because I'm vegetarian) then she will tell me to clean up all the pans and dishes she has used, even though I had nothing to do with them. Then if I don't clean everyone elses's mess, she'll get really stroppy and angry. Also our laundry room is just a big mass of scrumpled up washing (none of it is mine because I do my own laundry separately) but mum leaves all the clothes lying on the floor saying she can't do it because she's too busy. She doesn't even work... she's a housewife! So why doesn't she have time? Often when I come home from work, I see her lying on the sofa just watching TV. When I come home from university or work I sometimes want to just sit down and relax for a couple of hours, but she makes me feel guilty, as though I should be doing more housework instead. I do help when I can, I just need to relax sometimes!
Then there's my dad.... he doesn't help me out much at all. He knows I'm poor, but he just doesn't seem to care. He'll ask me to go out and buy all his chistmas presents for mum (because he's too busy working), tells me he will pay me back... they conveniently forgets to (even though I'm a poor student - even more poor because I spent my christmas bonus on a holiday for them to Paris). He said he would help me pay my university fees, but he doesn't remember and I pay them all myself. I feel guilty reminding him or asking for help, so I just don't.
I'm a good daughter... I'm working really hard to improve my life. I never ask my parents for money or help. I never stay out too late, I don't go out and get drunk... infact my parents drink more than I do. My older brother and sister are married and living elsewhere, but my younger sister still lives here too. My parents say I have to set a good example to her because she's 12. I feel trapped... I can't be myself and enjoy life to the full.I want to have an adult relationship with my boyfriend, and not worry and feel guilty that dad is staying up all night worrying that I'm having sex.... which I feel it completely up to me at this age. I want to move out so badly, I just can't afford to do that for another year. My boyfriend likes that I live at home and says I should just stay there until we get married and have our own house in a couple of years... he says I'm the one and he wants to be with me forever, but I'm just scared that my parent's strict ways will freak him out and drive him away. How do I cope in the meantime??? It's starting to make me feel depressed :-( I'm a good person really, I deserve to be happy... I even feel bad writing this, like I have no reason to complain and should just deal with it. Aaaahh.... I don't want to upset my parents, but I really just want to live a normal happy life!! I want to be able to concentrate on my studies instead of worrying about homelife and feeling down... am I being selfish?