she wants me as a friend? 4 months ago my ex broke up with me after an on off relationship for 2 years. We are great friends and I still have feelings that go further than that. Once we broke up i did chase and then after a month of this i left and didn't contact her for a month.
When i came back she was angry that i had left and she was going through a lot of trouble having to look after her niece as her alcoholic brother couldn't. I started to help her with this and we went out a few times but she was always distracted, she would ask if i was seeing anyone and was always happy to spend time with me. In turn i was presenting my best self (even though i still need to do a lot of things). Since we had broken up i have a new job, better pay, a car and am fitter and healthier than ever before, however these have taken up more of my time than finding new and exciting things to do, hobbies etc.
A couple weeks ago her cat of 16 years was diagnosed with cancer and she is completely distraught about it and literally living each day as it comes at the moment. Last week i felt that writing a letter to say i we should try again would lay the cards on the table and ended meeting her that eve and having a long chat. she was saying that she wasn't looking for a relationship and she had too many other things on her plate to deal with the emotions, that she really liked me and didn't want to hold me back and suggested i go find other women and live my life instead of waiting on her. She wants me as a friend and wants me to be happy. Also saying that if i hadn't pursued her initially she may have felt differently and she doesn't know what will happen in the future but right now it is a no. I am sincere in my wanting to create a new successful relationship and want her to be happy also and not in this place of limbo with no job and by the looks of it just surviving.
How can i turn this around to create a new intimate relationship. Last night we had dinner together and i expressed that i couldn't just be friends which she responded to say i was selfish and why should it be on my terms when i leave.At the end if i find someone else i couldn't continue this friendship, could i. She says she is a friend and that i need to understand this and she is focused on creating the best end of days for her cat and limiting going out as she wants to be there when he passes. It is just a cat yet he has been the most reliable thing in her life when so many other people have taken advantage of her in the past. How can i re attract her as my partner and help her move forward in her life with me. We have often talked about the future, values and beliefs which are very similar. Apart from this her words say one thing (wants to be friends) and often her body language says something els (i am interested) .
I want to see her happy and i would love to take things further having learnt from past mistakes and continue to make the right changes. How can i be there to and at the same time create a new intimate partnership?
In the past we talked about having a family and i want this and to marry her.
When i came back she was angry that i had left and she was going through a lot of trouble having to look after her niece as her alcoholic brother couldn't. I started to help her with this and we went out a few times but she was always distracted, she would ask if i was seeing anyone and was always happy to spend time with me. In turn i was presenting my best self (even though i still need to do a lot of things). Since we had broken up i have a new job, better pay, a car and am fitter and healthier than ever before, however these have taken up more of my time than finding new and exciting things to do, hobbies etc.
A couple weeks ago her cat of 16 years was diagnosed with cancer and she is completely distraught about it and literally living each day as it comes at the moment. Last week i felt that writing a letter to say i we should try again would lay the cards on the table and ended meeting her that eve and having a long chat. she was saying that she wasn't looking for a relationship and she had too many other things on her plate to deal with the emotions, that she really liked me and didn't want to hold me back and suggested i go find other women and live my life instead of waiting on her. She wants me as a friend and wants me to be happy. Also saying that if i hadn't pursued her initially she may have felt differently and she doesn't know what will happen in the future but right now it is a no. I am sincere in my wanting to create a new successful relationship and want her to be happy also and not in this place of limbo with no job and by the looks of it just surviving.
How can i turn this around to create a new intimate relationship. Last night we had dinner together and i expressed that i couldn't just be friends which she responded to say i was selfish and why should it be on my terms when i leave.At the end if i find someone else i couldn't continue this friendship, could i. She says she is a friend and that i need to understand this and she is focused on creating the best end of days for her cat and limiting going out as she wants to be there when he passes. It is just a cat yet he has been the most reliable thing in her life when so many other people have taken advantage of her in the past. How can i re attract her as my partner and help her move forward in her life with me. We have often talked about the future, values and beliefs which are very similar. Apart from this her words say one thing (wants to be friends) and often her body language says something els (i am interested) .
I want to see her happy and i would love to take things further having learnt from past mistakes and continue to make the right changes. How can i be there to and at the same time create a new intimate partnership?
In the past we talked about having a family and i want this and to marry her.