How can i tell my mother in law to stop stopping by the house without prior notice?

[brownie]

My mother in law lives about 12 miles away from us. She loves to stop by and drop off stuffs (like fruits, vegetables...) at our house. She will only call when she is already on her way. This kind of annoys me coz I don't feel comfortable to have somebody here while I am not prepared for that. And when she calls, it will already be too late to tell her to come over some other time. If we are not home, she will leave the stuffs in the yard. If we're home, i have no idea why she never comes in from the front door, but she will go to the backyard and knock on our patio door, this totally drives me nuts. I really want her to stop this 'drop off stuffs' activities. I cook everyday for my husband and we actually don't need those from her.

 

[KRIS A]

if she calls and says she is on her way, tell her I'm sorry but I'm on my way out.

on the other hand, she is trying to be nice and you are about at petty as i have ever seen.... take her gifts and say think you, if you don't like the gift toss it in the garbage after she leaves....

in any event... SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[?Rach?]

Well...the one thing that you don't want to do is be rude with her about it.

Just talk to her and tell her how you feel...but don't be angry about it. If she starts a stinky snit, just stay calm, but stand your ground. Just say, "I understand that you are trying to help us and all, and I thank you, but I think that it is too much...I don't mind you over here, but please call us and ask if you can come over because something may be happening where we can't provide attention to our guests. I don't mean to offend you or upset you, I'm just letting you know how I feel..." something like that.

No matter what, people feel a little "sting" when they get criticized by someone...it may make them feel ashamed...but if you are polite about it and sensitive to their feelings, it should go okay.