How can I stop my story sounding so much like Twilight?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Nardia VT
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Nardia VT

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I've tried rearranging it, changing it - even parts I treasured.
This is it's synopsis.
What if Casper was right – what if I was just like them.
Then that would certainly explain at least four things.

Firstly I looked like them.
Secondly I matched them in ways another outsider never could.
Third, what if I was the same creature as them?
If I was, then why wasn’t Harry?

Isobel Marsden had a seemingly normally life. Moving to a new city, starting a new high school and just surviving the irritation of her adoptive older brother. Possessing a beautiful talent for nearly everything doesn’t really help that factor. Until one day she comes in contact with the Oliver brood: Kingsley, Trystan, Selwyn, Gregory, Madison, Vanessa, Amelia and Imogen are the mysterious, perfect Oliver crowd of Bend Union high school. They had everything.

They see their own likenesses, talents and gifts in Isobel, along with their friend Casper Thomas. But it is Casper who sees Isobel for what she really is (one of them, the long lost final child of the Oliver family).Come the arrival of Isobel’s seventeenth birthday Casper and the Oliver’s decide to awake her to what she is. A vampire like them. But what is unconscious to them the more she is with them, the more endangered she becomes.

Suddenly the Vampires’ revived feud with Werewolves rises; The Oliver’s becomes the target of a hunter. Casper is involved in a life threatening car crash, and Isobel wrestling with her newly found power is her families and friends only hope . . . Or is she?
Twilight Obessive Disorder -I like your name!
Thank you so much. It's mind boggling trying to change it.
 
It sounds like a nice story and everything, but the reason it sounds so much like Twilight is because it essentially IS Twilight. I'm sorry, but I can't think of a single thing you can do to stop a story that is virtually an exact copy of Twilight from sounding like a copy of Twilight.
 
Because it sounds almost identical to twilight? Perfect people that band together and turn out to be vampires? The vampires fighting with werewolves? Moving to a new place and a new school?

Come up with your own ideas, and then maybe it will stop sounding like a story that's already been written.
 
Make werewovles angels. I tend to have a fondness for angels and Its topic I not see much of.
and maybe they seem perfect but are deeply disturbed on the inside.
 
yeah i agree with the other. putting in the werewolves makes it too much like twilight.

and i kno this sounds kind of stupid but Isobel is remarkably like Isabella. Maybe you should try something else. It's a very pretty name though =].


**Response to Janny C**
you should read His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman.

the angels are waay more involved by the third book.
 
Well, I think you've read the book too recently, and may have not written enough to find a strong narrative voice. You also may not know your character well enough to know how they sound.

Right off the bat (and I only know because I'm reading Twilight right now), your character sounds EXACTLY like Bella Swan. "First, I knew he was a vampire, second I knew I was in love with him" or whatever she says. There's something strickingly close in your story.

Isobel -- Isabella. I don't know I might be splitting hairs with that but in general I think you need to spend more time with development -- significantly more time if you're going to do the Vampire thing.

Good luck with your story.
 
maybe you should just try writing in a different genre?
and you changed vampires to something else than it might not sound quite so much like it.
 
You could begin with having the Oliver family move to where Isobel lives, instead of having her be the new girl, or change the main character's name...you have to admit Isobel looks kinda like Isabella. But really, I you just need to rethink your plot. Twilight is so unbelieveably popular-- werewolves and vampires have been done already. Experiment with other mystical creatures, and try to put as many changes in the personalities of your main characters so readers can identify them with Edward or Bella from Twilight.
 
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