abusive child hood? :/? I love him so much, and it kills me to see that he is hurting inside.
But he takes everything out on me, and every things always my fault no matter what. It's so hard to keep helping him, when I'm getting hurt by him.
His mother was never home when he was young, she was always out with different guys, leaving him and his siblings alone, she was also on drugs, and hasn't really been much of a mother until now, but now he doesn't want anything to do with her.
Our relationship has fallen to pieces and I just cant seem to fix it. We've been together for about a year and a half now, (breaking up a lot in between this time but not for long) and I'm just now starting to realize why our relationship is how it is because he's just now starting to open up to me about his childhood and I'm realizing that his accusing me of things and his treating me wrong sometimes is because of how his mother was, I guess he looks at me (and every female) as how his mother was, thinking were all like her, and there's no other way females can be, this is just my opinion, but I have a lot of reasons to think this, not getting into detail. To make a long story short, I want to know if there's any way I can fix this or change myself to cope with this better, hoping possibly it will one day change, and he will realize how much I really care about him, and that I'm not going to abandon him or (leave) him if he just treats me right and respects me. He's told me that he's afraid to lose me, and that's why he accuses me of so much, because he's afraid that I'm doing something wrong, as in being unfaithful in a sort of way that he's going to lose me. He also told me that I really am the best thing that he has in his life, and that he's blessed to have me as his girlfriend, and that he doesn't mean the things he says and the way he is but sometimes he just can't help it, because he thinks too many things in his head; as in he's always thinking negative, like I'm cheating on him if I am at work a little late, things like that. He says he trusts me, but he can't control the thoughts of what I "could" be doing, he's apologized and reassured me that he loves me and will never leave me. I think he knows deep down that I honestly do care very much about him, but he just don't know how to keep those thoughts from running through his head. I know that he looks for everything his mother done wrong in me, I just need to know how I can reassure him that I'm not like his mother and that I'm not going anywhere as long as he starts respecting me more and showing me that he cares more. I've gave him so many chances to change that I can't keep doing that anymore, because I know things will never change if I keep that up, but I know that if I leave him, it's not because I want to be without him, but because I want to see some permanent changes, and not have to keep going through the same exact stuff all the time. Another thing is, is if I try to leave him alone for awhile and ignore his calls, he feels given up on and betrayed; and there's no way of explaining that it's not what I want but it's what has to happen if were going to save our relationship.
I am lost, and to the point where I have no understanding of what to do next, being without him for good is not an option for me right now, I just want things to get better, and I don't know what else to do! :/
Can someone PLEASE help me out and give me some advise on what I can do or say, and help my relationship!
I really need it, I just want so badly to save this relationship and be happy with the person I love, I don't want anyone else and I don't ever want to fall out of love with him, for anyone else that option just isn't for me, and I don't even want to think about it..
But he takes everything out on me, and every things always my fault no matter what. It's so hard to keep helping him, when I'm getting hurt by him.
His mother was never home when he was young, she was always out with different guys, leaving him and his siblings alone, she was also on drugs, and hasn't really been much of a mother until now, but now he doesn't want anything to do with her.
Our relationship has fallen to pieces and I just cant seem to fix it. We've been together for about a year and a half now, (breaking up a lot in between this time but not for long) and I'm just now starting to realize why our relationship is how it is because he's just now starting to open up to me about his childhood and I'm realizing that his accusing me of things and his treating me wrong sometimes is because of how his mother was, I guess he looks at me (and every female) as how his mother was, thinking were all like her, and there's no other way females can be, this is just my opinion, but I have a lot of reasons to think this, not getting into detail. To make a long story short, I want to know if there's any way I can fix this or change myself to cope with this better, hoping possibly it will one day change, and he will realize how much I really care about him, and that I'm not going to abandon him or (leave) him if he just treats me right and respects me. He's told me that he's afraid to lose me, and that's why he accuses me of so much, because he's afraid that I'm doing something wrong, as in being unfaithful in a sort of way that he's going to lose me. He also told me that I really am the best thing that he has in his life, and that he's blessed to have me as his girlfriend, and that he doesn't mean the things he says and the way he is but sometimes he just can't help it, because he thinks too many things in his head; as in he's always thinking negative, like I'm cheating on him if I am at work a little late, things like that. He says he trusts me, but he can't control the thoughts of what I "could" be doing, he's apologized and reassured me that he loves me and will never leave me. I think he knows deep down that I honestly do care very much about him, but he just don't know how to keep those thoughts from running through his head. I know that he looks for everything his mother done wrong in me, I just need to know how I can reassure him that I'm not like his mother and that I'm not going anywhere as long as he starts respecting me more and showing me that he cares more. I've gave him so many chances to change that I can't keep doing that anymore, because I know things will never change if I keep that up, but I know that if I leave him, it's not because I want to be without him, but because I want to see some permanent changes, and not have to keep going through the same exact stuff all the time. Another thing is, is if I try to leave him alone for awhile and ignore his calls, he feels given up on and betrayed; and there's no way of explaining that it's not what I want but it's what has to happen if were going to save our relationship.
I am lost, and to the point where I have no understanding of what to do next, being without him for good is not an option for me right now, I just want things to get better, and I don't know what else to do! :/
Can someone PLEASE help me out and give me some advise on what I can do or say, and help my relationship!
I really need it, I just want so badly to save this relationship and be happy with the person I love, I don't want anyone else and I don't ever want to fall out of love with him, for anyone else that option just isn't for me, and I don't even want to think about it..