Sharp Implements
New member
When I feel really stressed, which is almost all the time, I like to stare at sharp things like knives and imagine hurting myself with them. I have barely resisted the urge to actually do it, and this has been going on for about 2 years. Sharp things are beautiful. Knives have the power to make me happy. They can relieve the perpetual misery. I love knives.
Lately, I am worried that I am really going to hurt myself. I am safe tonight, but I can't control what I do in moments of stress down the road. I have to get rid of all my beautiful sharp things while I am still calm enough to do so, because when I need them, I will not have the willpower to get rid of them. But it will take a lot of willpower even now, and on top of that, I have to not buy new sharp things. When they bring me so much relief, this is hard to do, but any advice?
I don't fear them and I don't think that they are bad, I just don't want to kill myself because my family would be sad.
Lately, I am worried that I am really going to hurt myself. I am safe tonight, but I can't control what I do in moments of stress down the road. I have to get rid of all my beautiful sharp things while I am still calm enough to do so, because when I need them, I will not have the willpower to get rid of them. But it will take a lot of willpower even now, and on top of that, I have to not buy new sharp things. When they bring me so much relief, this is hard to do, but any advice?
I don't fear them and I don't think that they are bad, I just don't want to kill myself because my family would be sad.