I write stories that are pretty good, or so my teachers say, but I struggle at poetry. My two best friends are great poets and can make people cry with some of their poems. So I've been feeling a little competitive lately and wanted to know how I could improve my poetry so I could write a better poem than them. So here are two poems I wrote that happen to be my best, even though I think they're still pretty bad.
One of These Days
One of these days
I'll finally go up to you
and won't shy away.
I'll confess my feelings of love to you
on that very same day.
I'll stay until you admit your feelings too
even if it takes all night.
And I'll swoop you into my arms
and give you a hug that is very tight.
I'll kiss you right there,
where ever we may be.
And I'll point to my heart
and tell you you're the key.
Although I may seem shy,
I still believe you and I
will be together forever,
one of these days.
The Coldness
The Coldness,
chills me to the bone
but I can't escape.
The Coldness,
surrounds me
and is me only friend
No one can pierce The Coldness.
There is no end in sight.
Still I hope one day,
The Coldness will become light.
But until then...
The Coldness,
chills me to the bone
but I can't escape.
The Coldness,
surrounds me
and is me only friend.
I have no one else except The Coldness,
because
The Coldness has me.
So what do you think? Please, only constructive criticism. Thanks guys!
One of These Days
One of these days
I'll finally go up to you
and won't shy away.
I'll confess my feelings of love to you
on that very same day.
I'll stay until you admit your feelings too
even if it takes all night.
And I'll swoop you into my arms
and give you a hug that is very tight.
I'll kiss you right there,
where ever we may be.
And I'll point to my heart
and tell you you're the key.
Although I may seem shy,
I still believe you and I
will be together forever,
one of these days.
The Coldness
The Coldness,
chills me to the bone
but I can't escape.
The Coldness,
surrounds me
and is me only friend
No one can pierce The Coldness.
There is no end in sight.
Still I hope one day,
The Coldness will become light.
But until then...
The Coldness,
chills me to the bone
but I can't escape.
The Coldness,
surrounds me
and is me only friend.
I have no one else except The Coldness,
because
The Coldness has me.
So what do you think? Please, only constructive criticism. Thanks guys!