How can I get my wife to take the time and find the energy to be intimate with me?

[no one in particular]

My sex life has been discouraging for what seems like most of my married life. We have been married +5 years. The first year my wife was finishing grad school, the next year she was pregnant and working, the next she was a stay at home mom doing freelance work on the side, and now for the last number of years she has been starting her own business which requires lots of time and energy.

I love my wife and I know she loves me. I have spoken to her a number of times over the years about how I have felt about our sex life. I have tried to be patient and not bug her all the time, I try to wait at least 2 weeks before saying anything now. She after making some comments about me thinking about sex all the time, she will give in. But for me it is not just about the sex. After ward I feel like crap, because she is barely involved.

It seems I have her attention about 3 times a year to actively participate. Usually it takes getting away for a weekend, or a chance meeting during the day that time is not a problem.

I am an insecure person, I need to feel needed and desired. My wife tells me she loves me, and other actions are proof that.

I think in general, in my mind the issue is over blown, but it consumes my thoughts for hours a week (when you add it all up).

I thought maybe someone has some advice.