I was asked to someone's birthday dinner a few weeks ago, and said I would go. I believe each guest is expected to pay for their own dinner and drinks at the restaurant.
This struck me as rather rude in the first instance, but I went with it because the birthday girl is the sister of a close friend.
However, since inviting everyone, the birthday girl has gone from being occasionally offhand in everyday life to being a total birthday-zilla! Last week when we were over she actually asked my husband what we were getting her for her gift! Also, it's a barely relevant point I know, but our birthdays pass unnoticed by her every year. Not even a wish (we don't expect gifts or cards - just a word would have been nice) or a phone call. She made a great show of asking us for our dates once, but made little effort to try and memorise or write down the replies as we did for hers.
I was thinking of just going and trying to have a good time regardless, for the sake of everyone involved, but now she has ruined it by acting, it seems to me, very selfishly. We will still give the card and gift the day before, but I have now lost all interest in this party. How can I extricate myself graciously from it?
Please bear in mind that I have a good friend who is related to this girl, and I'd like not to lose them or hurt their feelings by reacting badly just because their sister is rude and selfish.
Thank you.
marys.momma: I quite agree with you. If the birthday boy/girl wants a party, then they or a relative should organise it and foot the bill, and invite others to come and just share in the joy of the celebration. Also, it's pretty stupid of people to accept these invitations, isn't it? You've basically been charged entry to the party! I would never dream of imposing this on anyone...you can't afford it all yourself, you can't have it - end of!
This struck me as rather rude in the first instance, but I went with it because the birthday girl is the sister of a close friend.
However, since inviting everyone, the birthday girl has gone from being occasionally offhand in everyday life to being a total birthday-zilla! Last week when we were over she actually asked my husband what we were getting her for her gift! Also, it's a barely relevant point I know, but our birthdays pass unnoticed by her every year. Not even a wish (we don't expect gifts or cards - just a word would have been nice) or a phone call. She made a great show of asking us for our dates once, but made little effort to try and memorise or write down the replies as we did for hers.
I was thinking of just going and trying to have a good time regardless, for the sake of everyone involved, but now she has ruined it by acting, it seems to me, very selfishly. We will still give the card and gift the day before, but I have now lost all interest in this party. How can I extricate myself graciously from it?
Please bear in mind that I have a good friend who is related to this girl, and I'd like not to lose them or hurt their feelings by reacting badly just because their sister is rude and selfish.
Thank you.
marys.momma: I quite agree with you. If the birthday boy/girl wants a party, then they or a relative should organise it and foot the bill, and invite others to come and just share in the joy of the celebration. Also, it's pretty stupid of people to accept these invitations, isn't it? You've basically been charged entry to the party! I would never dream of imposing this on anyone...you can't afford it all yourself, you can't have it - end of!