I'm a part time step mom. How can I encourage my step daughter to be less crude in her language and manners so she can have more girl friends? It seems that the girls cannot stand her. She is not a nice girl - very judgmental herself. Very self-centered. I've been quietly observing for a few years now. She seems utterly clueless what she has done to cause these girls to not want to be around her. -- She's the same way. There are some girls that she won't talk to b/c she doesn't like them for this or that. Apparently that is ok. Hypocrite. How can I help in a positive way? Is it best to say nothing? -- It's easier for to say nothing but is that the right thing to do? I'm not one to take the easy or lazy way out.
Ted - You shouldn't comment like that b/c you have no idea who I am and what I am dealing with here.
Sorry if I don't like when people feel the need to be overly dramatic and say things that don't make any sense and aren't necessary. Case in point - While others are eating - this tastes like poop. Is that ok with you? It's not ok with me. This goes on and on and on. Friends have stayed over - she gets food/drinks for herself while completely ignoring her friends - in fact - she will answer for them - no she doesn't want anything. -- did you even ask her?
Her father will ask and her friends do in fact want something to eat and drink. -- I'm telling you that she is not a nice girl. She's just like her mom. Self-centered bordering on narcissistic. Ask her how beautiful she is. She'll tell you.
It could be a teen thing. It could be a generational thing. It could be a step mom thing. It makes 0 diff to me. I know that I'm not the bad guy here. Am I perfect? No but I try. I'm flexible. -- I just can't stand those that feel the need to draw attention to themselves when I'm already paying attention to them. I'm not going to worship anyone.
Milton - It's really hard. I'm dyslexic. I'm trying. -- I don't know where to draw the line b/t acceptance and speaking out. I don't want to hurt her. I think she is a good kid but her behavior leaves much to be desired. She doesn't care about others. If so then how can she expect them to care about her? She doesn't see it. I don't want to say the wrong thing.
I am supportive. When she does well - I always congratulate her - tell her that it's great. -- I do compliment her. But it's hard to compliment someone that always talks about how beautiful she is.
The second part is while putting others down. Like this girl - ugh - she's not even cute - she's ugly. He's ugly. Ugh.
My husband wants me involved but at the same time does things to keep me at arm's length. Maybe I'm too sensitive. I don't know what to do. I haven't learned what to do. I'm dyslexic. People don't seem to understand what it means. I do my best to explain.
I also don't want to tell her what to do. That's up to her. I just want to give some advice that she can choose to try to follow or ignore. That's it. I don't believe in control. Just giving info.
If you knew me then I know that you would think I'm a kind and thoughtful person. I don't think I'm perfect. I don't try to change people. I just try to give info if I feel that I know better. I'm an educated professional woman. I'm dyslexic and there are things that I don't know. How to deliver sensitive info w/o offending others. Sometimes I do it right and other times it just goes wrong. In this case - want to make sure that I do it right. Stakes are high.
Thank you Aporia. Thank you so much. I will make plans with her. That's what I needed. You rock.
Thanks Happy Guy. That is what I try to do. Set a good example. I have made a positive impact on my kids. I'm steady. I'm mature.
Ted - You shouldn't comment like that b/c you have no idea who I am and what I am dealing with here.
Sorry if I don't like when people feel the need to be overly dramatic and say things that don't make any sense and aren't necessary. Case in point - While others are eating - this tastes like poop. Is that ok with you? It's not ok with me. This goes on and on and on. Friends have stayed over - she gets food/drinks for herself while completely ignoring her friends - in fact - she will answer for them - no she doesn't want anything. -- did you even ask her?
Her father will ask and her friends do in fact want something to eat and drink. -- I'm telling you that she is not a nice girl. She's just like her mom. Self-centered bordering on narcissistic. Ask her how beautiful she is. She'll tell you.
It could be a teen thing. It could be a generational thing. It could be a step mom thing. It makes 0 diff to me. I know that I'm not the bad guy here. Am I perfect? No but I try. I'm flexible. -- I just can't stand those that feel the need to draw attention to themselves when I'm already paying attention to them. I'm not going to worship anyone.
Milton - It's really hard. I'm dyslexic. I'm trying. -- I don't know where to draw the line b/t acceptance and speaking out. I don't want to hurt her. I think she is a good kid but her behavior leaves much to be desired. She doesn't care about others. If so then how can she expect them to care about her? She doesn't see it. I don't want to say the wrong thing.
I am supportive. When she does well - I always congratulate her - tell her that it's great. -- I do compliment her. But it's hard to compliment someone that always talks about how beautiful she is.
The second part is while putting others down. Like this girl - ugh - she's not even cute - she's ugly. He's ugly. Ugh.
My husband wants me involved but at the same time does things to keep me at arm's length. Maybe I'm too sensitive. I don't know what to do. I haven't learned what to do. I'm dyslexic. People don't seem to understand what it means. I do my best to explain.
I also don't want to tell her what to do. That's up to her. I just want to give some advice that she can choose to try to follow or ignore. That's it. I don't believe in control. Just giving info.
If you knew me then I know that you would think I'm a kind and thoughtful person. I don't think I'm perfect. I don't try to change people. I just try to give info if I feel that I know better. I'm an educated professional woman. I'm dyslexic and there are things that I don't know. How to deliver sensitive info w/o offending others. Sometimes I do it right and other times it just goes wrong. In this case - want to make sure that I do it right. Stakes are high.
Thank you Aporia. Thank you so much. I will make plans with her. That's what I needed. You rock.
Thanks Happy Guy. That is what I try to do. Set a good example. I have made a positive impact on my kids. I'm steady. I'm mature.