How can i be happy again? family problems?

[iceman41596]

My entire life my parents have been incredibly overprotective, because i almost died several times as a premie baby, my mother has never gotten over this and now continues into my twenties i'm 24, things like i couldn't go to college because i might die in a car accident in the winter driving there, on my 19th birthday i as lectured for hours about drinkign alcohol it may kill me because i was born early ( no doctor ever told me that) mostly we are a happy family, so i am dating a wonderful man, parents loved him ,lots of happiness ect...I told them we were moving in together, they didn't like that at all, becuase we were not engaged yet, so a few weeks later we were engaged, planning the wedding we were all having a great time with the planning end excitement. Then they start saying things like, We dont' think he wants to marry you, okay put them at ease...next thing, your house is upsidedown on the value, ( everyone in america is) next thing, he will never have children with you (unfounded we are planning on 3 kids)next thing is they think he is trying to sleepw ith my best childhood friend, which couldn't be further from the truth! due to an incident where all of us were having dinner and he fell asleep next to her on the couch afterwards, I was on the other side. he pretty much considers her family. Our parents have been best friends for 20 years i can't imagine how they can think that is a possibility about her. Everytime i explain my feelings my parents railroad me thinking they always know best. then it was we hate his answering machine, and he will never be sucessful at his job you will live in poverty forever, not true we have a 3 bed townhouse in florida, both work for a large hotel chain, he got a promotion last week, my parents call my friends at work to inquire about me and our relationship which is totally inappropriate. The last thing was they will cut me out of their will if i dont' come home to them, ( we live down the street) they said they hate him and doens' think he is good enough for me. Everything was fine till we started the wedding stuff. I don't want to leave my fiance, he is soo good to me and the only problems we have are my parents meddling in my life, they really think everything in my personal life is information they are privy too. I know it's also my fault for not setting boundries. I think i will be unhappy forever knowing my parents will never come to my wedding. I am on anti anxiety meds which are helping and goign to therpay next week.

 

[icefyre77]

Go blow up on your parents. March right down the street and set them down and tell them you live your own life. If they don't want to be involved.fine, their loss. Its time to wake up the overbearing/overprotective parents from hell. Go do it. YOu will feel better getting all this off your chest and will be off the meds before you know it.

 

[r3gg3_zal]

Are you kidding me? I thought you said you were 24? Tell your parents that if they want to cut you and their future gradkids out of their will go right ahead. If they can't give you a difinitive reason why you two shouldn't be together, then tell them to F off. Tell them that they raised a conscience, smart person and you have to do what's best for yourself and if they are worried about your decision making capabilities then they should have done a better job raising you and not sheltering you from the world becuase anyone with half a brain could see that you would probably latch on to the first person to give you time of day. BURN on them!

 

[Icee]

You need to understand, they are not your future. They are the ones making the desicion to get axed, You will get over them not being there. I did, You need to take charge of yourself, and your future. No one ever will be good enough for you, though their eyes, trust me. Let them behave the way they want. You can only explain to then, if you make a mistake, then let you make it. Life is full of lessons and you may need to learn them. You can also tell them if they only have negative things to say when they call..please don;t call then

 

[R1D3R]

I know that you do not want to be cut out of the will, but ifyou agree to end your relationship and move back with them...you might just be there forever.It is time to be a woman and stand up for what you believe in.Tell your friends that when your parents call to say ________is doing great...gotta go..take care & hang up.Tell them not to answer questions or oblige their curiosity.Live your life and let them do what they will.If they cut you out...so be it.Just learn to live for yourself.Something tells me they will change their mind oncethey see their grandchildren running around.Best wishes

 

[r1b1c*]

I think you've answered your own question. You love him, you live with him, you work with him, you are planning a wedding with him, and you want 3 children with him.You are of age so you should be able to make the right descision on your own. You don't need an inheritance as much as you need the love from the person who loves you for who you are.If you build it, they will (come around). In other words, you have to make a life for yourself. Not to prove you CAN do it because that's the wrong motivation, but because after your successful, they will admit they were'nt right. You'll be happier with the love of your life rather than being miserable trying to please your parents.

 

[icehockeylvr18]

Wow--you're parents are definitely waaaaay overprotective. As a mom, I can understand how scared they are of losing you, and its wonderful they love you so much. BUT, you are an adult, doing wonderful for yourself, and have a man that loves you and treats you well. They are essentially afraid of losing you again, and in the past they've been able to curb whatever it was in the way of them holding onto you. Now they're freaking out because you can make your own decisions, and they have no way of stopping it. It's horrible to make such threats as you better move in or they'll cut you out--that's ridiculous--they're grabbing at straws because they have no other options. They won't cut you out, and if they really do, its their loss. They have no right to stop you from being happy. If you know you truly are, and he is the right man for you, then marry him, and if they don't show, (which I think they will) then its their loss. I know it will hurt for you to not have them there, but its one of the most important days in your life, and if they don't share that with you because you won't do what they say--they're the ones with the problem. Its so sad. They need to learn to let go, and geez, ya live down the street. No one is ever going to be good enough for you in their eyes--no matter who it is. You need to stand up to them and tell them how much this is affecting you. My god, they stopped you from college, you could be fired over their persistent meddling, and if it doesn't stop, your fiance' could get tired of it and scoot. It has happened. Sit them down, tell them how you feel, and if they don't get it, and don't stop--cut THEM out. If having a heart to heart with them won't do it, they don't deserve to have you as a daughter. I could only hope that my daughter does as well as you--your own home, a great job, and at 24! Hats off to you!! Please let me know how this works out for you--I have a feeling your parents love you so much that if you just tell them how its gonna be, they'll come around. (slowly) :0) Good luck!