i have bit of a long story... sorry.
but basicaly since november 2008 i have taken 12 overdoses 3 of which i really wanted to die and came close. i lied alot to my parents trying to keep it hidden but they were told by someone else in the end.i almost got kiked out of my first year of uni for it. my last two attempts were in the same week and i lied saying i was going to stay with friends and sent texts saying i was with them watching a dvd when i had really overdosed. unfortantly when i passed out a police found me they used my mobile and phoned my mother to get a identity for me. so mum found out and freaked!.
after i came out hospital and got home mum dragged me to my docters back home and explained everything with me sat there so very close to tears in the docters.
she agreed with mum i was at risk and needed some help over the summer whilst i was back so got given a duty worker....
seen her 3 times now.
.....today she asked me if i had done any self haming or anything over the last week. so i admited i had cut my arms and taken a mini overdose during the week. she didnt really seem to care at all. she just asked that i try to do more activities and scehule and instead of seeing her weekly like i was she said to see me 2 weeks time.
hows this ever going to help????
the idea was that i saw her and tried to stop those behaviours before i go back to uni in september because i will only start overdoing again when i get back. how am i ment to stop these behaviours if she doesnt even care im doing it??
im trying to do more activites as she says but it aint really helping and she just dont care. she seems to think im doing well just because im doing more activities but why does she not get im still not happy its ridculous. i cant ever see how il get better. its no use changing duty worker they all just the same.
i knowone can physicaly do anything to stop me but she could atleast talk to me and find out whats wrong rather than just asuming. she seems to think its because of uni stress and parents arguing ... shes ASSUMING that. why do all the professional like to guess. she is half right but also couldnt be further away from truth.
il probably end up dead due to crappy services. im trying to work with them for once but it clearly not enough.
but basicaly since november 2008 i have taken 12 overdoses 3 of which i really wanted to die and came close. i lied alot to my parents trying to keep it hidden but they were told by someone else in the end.i almost got kiked out of my first year of uni for it. my last two attempts were in the same week and i lied saying i was going to stay with friends and sent texts saying i was with them watching a dvd when i had really overdosed. unfortantly when i passed out a police found me they used my mobile and phoned my mother to get a identity for me. so mum found out and freaked!.
after i came out hospital and got home mum dragged me to my docters back home and explained everything with me sat there so very close to tears in the docters.
she agreed with mum i was at risk and needed some help over the summer whilst i was back so got given a duty worker....
seen her 3 times now.
.....today she asked me if i had done any self haming or anything over the last week. so i admited i had cut my arms and taken a mini overdose during the week. she didnt really seem to care at all. she just asked that i try to do more activities and scehule and instead of seeing her weekly like i was she said to see me 2 weeks time.
hows this ever going to help????
the idea was that i saw her and tried to stop those behaviours before i go back to uni in september because i will only start overdoing again when i get back. how am i ment to stop these behaviours if she doesnt even care im doing it??
im trying to do more activites as she says but it aint really helping and she just dont care. she seems to think im doing well just because im doing more activities but why does she not get im still not happy its ridculous. i cant ever see how il get better. its no use changing duty worker they all just the same.
i knowone can physicaly do anything to stop me but she could atleast talk to me and find out whats wrong rather than just asuming. she seems to think its because of uni stress and parents arguing ... shes ASSUMING that. why do all the professional like to guess. she is half right but also couldnt be further away from truth.
il probably end up dead due to crappy services. im trying to work with them for once but it clearly not enough.