sorry about your academic performance, but to put it to you in perspective, your academic performance now is only important so that you get to a higher degree of education (I assume you are in high school). it also provides a basis for that higher level of education, but for all practical purposes you will most likely follow a path in higher education that fits your background well.
as for your ex girls, well I only have one ex, and she is still really important to me, even though I know she whores around. its funny that i opened myself up, raw emotion just for her, she got to see the real me, i thought she returned the same emotions, the same rawness and beauty. it was a lie. JESUS! a lie! god it makes me so depressed to even write this. she just recently got a tatoo too, as if she wants to change herself. she keeps telling me that somewhere in the relationship she "outgrew" me (we were going out highschool to university almost 2nd year). she said that on a trip to hong kong (im white she is asain), she "outgrew" me. I never questioned her on that, but i ask how does one know when one has outgrown another? bullshit. just a phase in her life that she thought was fitting and maybe even cute and fun for a while, she never cared, never will.
In her exact words in an email to another friend (she forgot she gave me her password long ago):
" even tho we were seeing so much of eachother i had just grown out of him"
" i suppose dragging it on a few months readied myself more for the actual mental preparation of not having him around as the boyfriend. and by the time it happened, it just felt right. i just woke up, and said its going to be today. and even when he saw me and was so sweet and tried to hold me i knew that it wasn't real. it wasn't what i wanted. everyone wants to be loved, to have someone display affection towards them. and of course i wanted that and still want that all the time. but it wasn't HIM that i wanted anymore"
"so i just told myself to be strong and to look forward to the liberation and the independence [i.e. whoring around] of single life afterwards. just surround yourself with positive things."
" that, and right now i don't
like the feeling of having to consider a certain someone everytime i
think about doing something, because this is the time of my life to
be selfish and to run free and wild."
"and this, just like the other risks i ever dared to take (there weren't many, my goal is to increase that number significantly), made me realize that if i can get thru this, i can get thru ALMOST anything."
the sad and depressing thing is i taught her to take risks. backfired and shoved me down the way i tried to climb.
So... of course, about an hour ago I get a phone call. Another ex-girlfriend... asking if I want to hang out tomorrow... to which I really want to say "hell no bitch!"
). If the ex rings and you want to just yell fuck off into the phone... do it. You'll feel better for a little while, maybe even better in general. 