T
Tyler945
Guest
Going to make this as short as possible in an attempt that someone will read my story. I had minor anxiety in my highschool days but nothing I couldnt manage. After highschool and a few troubles with some girls , I began shutting myself off from frienRAB and most of the outside world. I was skipping school, unemployed and mostly at home by myself as of hte past year and a half. As of 6 months ago I began only going out with people my age when i was drunk. 2 months ago I decided to get a job and start back with school. This sent me into intense 24/7 anxiety. After about a week of working and school, I began feeling better, then 2 weeks later my symptoms started becoming even worse. By now I am thinking almost 24/7 negatively and going over the same thigns over and over in my head. I am loosing hope and feel I will never get better. I developed this sense that I will only be happy with close relationships and I cant even be comfortable around close frienRAB that I have known for 10 + years. I still havent had a girlfriend in my life or been laid and im turning 21 in 2 weeks. This weighs heavily and makes everything seem even more hopeless.
I feel myself worsening every day and now have found myself only enjoying sitting on the internet and looking up mental illness's and the medicines that go along with them, including all the horror stories. Probably spend 4 or 5 hours a day now doing this and I know its very unhealthy to be obssesing like I have been. I cant even get comfortable on a day when I know I have nothing to do. And i find myself becoming distant from even my parents who I have been extremelly close with during the tough times.
I started seeing a psychologist who after 5 visits still spenRAB the entire session talking about hwo only medicine will turn this around and writing letters to my psychiatrist. He claims I need the medicine to calm me down before anything can be done. He still doesnt even know my name and I am starting with a new psychologist this week. I have only been to the psychiatrist once and they gave me seroquel. Took it for 2 days got amazing sleep but felt like a zorabie during the day and found myself becoming more depressed. I have no hope in medicine as I have read all the horror stories online and my brother has been on effexor and lamictal for 7 years and is as worse as ever and tells me pharmaceuticals are all about money.
Any kind of support or advice would be very appreciated. I hate this hopeless feeling.
I feel myself worsening every day and now have found myself only enjoying sitting on the internet and looking up mental illness's and the medicines that go along with them, including all the horror stories. Probably spend 4 or 5 hours a day now doing this and I know its very unhealthy to be obssesing like I have been. I cant even get comfortable on a day when I know I have nothing to do. And i find myself becoming distant from even my parents who I have been extremelly close with during the tough times.
I started seeing a psychologist who after 5 visits still spenRAB the entire session talking about hwo only medicine will turn this around and writing letters to my psychiatrist. He claims I need the medicine to calm me down before anything can be done. He still doesnt even know my name and I am starting with a new psychologist this week. I have only been to the psychiatrist once and they gave me seroquel. Took it for 2 days got amazing sleep but felt like a zorabie during the day and found myself becoming more depressed. I have no hope in medicine as I have read all the horror stories online and my brother has been on effexor and lamictal for 7 years and is as worse as ever and tells me pharmaceuticals are all about money.
Any kind of support or advice would be very appreciated. I hate this hopeless feeling.