Hi everyone! Are there any grammar mistakes in this sentence?

  • Thread starter Thread starter 杨俊贤
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杨俊贤

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Tonight I went to bed very earily, at around 11pm. Unfortunately, the eventual result proved that this time is really too earily to me to sleep. I turned over and over and just became increasingly conscious. Many past events emerge from my mind, one thing of them is that after my graduating from Sanda Junior College, I and many of my classmates went to zhouzhuang, one of the most famous water twons in China, for our school-leaving travel. At that amazing resort, we incrediblely spent almost all the 3 days at a mini villa we lent from a local inhabitant at a low price instead of playing outside. We played majiang(I learnt this game there and forgot it when I was back).
 
The only thing i can see is where you put learnt. It should be learned.
 
Tonight I went to bed very early, at around 11pm. Unfortunately, the eventual result proved that this time is really too early to me to sleep. I turned over and over and just became increasingly conscious. Many past events emerge from my mind, one thing of them is that after my graduating from Sanda Junior College, I and many of my classmates went to zhouzhuang, one of the most famous water towns in China, for our school-leaving travel. At that amazing resort, we incrediblyspent almost all the 3 days at a mini villa we lent from a local inhabitant at a low price instead of playing outside. We played majiang(I learnt this game there and forgot it when I was back).
 
If its supposed to be formal then you cant use numbers or am/pm. But that's about it.
 
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