Hey everybody

  • Thread starter Thread starter rksn
  • Start date Start date
R

rksn

Guest
Hi everyone :) I hope you are all still doing really well and the universe is being kind to you today.
Ive been off for a coulple of weeks trying to get my head together. Ive decided to stop seeing my psychologist for a while as it was too much for me to handle. My past, along with my uncles shooting, pushed me right to the edge and i wasnt sure i was going to make it. I explained to my psych yesterday, that although i know i need to get my head sorted out, i have to do what is right for me at the moment and that means wrapping myself in 'cotton wool' for a while. Not discussing with anyone my past or anything. For a little while i need to live in blissful ignorance. I know to some of you it may seem a weak way to deal with it but for me, its the only way i can manage for now.
I suppose the only good thing that has come out of this is that i havent felt like reverting back to my DOC . They have put me on valium to deal with my panic attacks etc and ive noticed ive started using those more often than i need to so i have to really watch that. I dont want to replace one drug with another.
I just really wanted to say hi and that i hope you are all doing well and strong.
Rach :wave:
I just
 
i think waiting to talk about your past ,is your choice, an a smart 1 indeed , we all need time to let our head clear, some what, you will however 1 day need to but in your time for alot of us 3 months seems to be ok , but there realy is no time set on this , some of your worst ones may take years but if just a little at a time, be careful with valium, just a suggestion i take klonapin for panic disorder ,it has a longer half life an is less potent 12 hours , use the smallest amount to take the edge off,i take 1mg 2 times daily , i still live with anxiety, but not panic attacks , just work on you ,its to soon to talk about your past , an thats ok , congrats to you rach .scott:wave::)
 
Hey Scott, so good to hear from you again my friend :) yeah i hit a brick wall pretty hard with all the counselling. Too much too soon, i had to take a step back and stop everything. I know i have to face it all again one day but not until im ready otherwise im going to crash and burn like i did this time.
I found though, that by being honest with my doctors about my past addiction ,makes them very weary about giving me any medication. The doctor i was seeing wanted to double the dose of antidepressants im on. They are not going to help me in the middle of an anxiety attack!? I wish i had never been honest with my doctor. She looks at me with judgemental eyes and is very dismissive towarRAB me. Anyway thats off the subject, sorry, i am being very aware about the amount of valium im taking for my panic attacks and im trying not to take them as often. I just really need to keep myself in a safe place. Thanks so much for writing back! It is so good to hear from you again.
How are you going? How have things been with you? I hope you are well and still going strong. I still remeraber you saying that it is recommended that we laugh for at least 10 minutes a day as it is good for you - i spent half the day the other day wondering why i couldnt hear people properly and started freaking out. Later on that night (around 7pm) i realised i still had my ear plugs in from the night before!! I had been shopping and everything with them still in!! What a dick head!!
Anyway i hope you have a wonderful day and have plenty to smile about :D
Take care Scott talk to you again soon :wave: Rach xox
 
i am doing well rach , glad to hear your doing better , an i still laugh at least 10 minutes a day , yes doctors can be funny just look at it that way , ha ha ha , they are so over worked, i dont know if they do it to themselves, but mRAB just dont seen to take the time needed , to spend on 1 person , some have these huge egoes , an as i have found they realy dont know alot of things , an there is only 1 way there way or the highway , to me its like finding a good mechanic to work on my bike or car , but more sereious. ya now we know what older people feel like ,, for me until my bike wreck i had not seen many mRAB in my life ,i probley seen more in the last year than some see in a lifetime, mRAB should remeraber we pay them , so for the most part we should be the boss:p
 
Hey the rsnk - I'm still shocked about everything that happened to you recently and I really feel good that you did not resort to old habits or starting back on your DOC. I know how stress can cloud your mind and drop your guard so that your DOC can take back over. That is what it is waiting for so that it can hop back into your life. That shows very good control and you should be proud of yourself.

I have always felt that if your doctor judges you, you should find another doctor. Just an opinion that I have. Doctors are trained to help people, no matter what the situation, and not to judge their patients. If you are there asking for help, they should be happy to assist you. It is no different if they judge you on your race, religion or political choices - they do not have a right to judge you on your past.

I have to get away from life on occasions also just to clear my head. Usually a few days someplace by myself is enough to do it for me. Time that I can meditate and think through my problems without any outside interference or interruptions. I think we all need alone time from time-to-time.

Glad to see you back and I hope you can find the peace that you are seeking.
 
Hey Rach,

Glad to hear you are handing in there.. I just wanted to pop in quick and say hello.

You of course have remained in my thoughts and prayers and I hope your heart finRAB some peace soon!

Take care of yourself and you will know when it's the right time to deal with the issue's you have from your past and present.

Snuggle up with that kitty and enjoy life. :wave:
 
Hey Denon, thanks so much for your reply :) I was talking to a friend just the other day about everthing thats been happening with me lately and they asked me did i feel like going to score? Up until then i hadn't even thought about it and i felt quite proud of myself that ive come this far without even realising it. A couple of months ago scoring wouldve been the first thing on my mind but this time, it didnt even occur to me, not even once :)

I was so disgusted and durab struck by the way my doctor treated me i did infact change doctors that same day! I told my new doctor everything, i told her i dont want, or need, to up my dose of anti depressants and she agreed with me totally. It was such a relief to have some one listen to me and believe me!

I agree with your idea of having time out to yourself. Ive already told my frienRAB that friday is my day off work so im going to be at home with my phone off!! I love spending my day in my pyjama's with my cat. I dont have to think about anything.
Thanks so much for your reply and its so good to hear from you all (my frienRAB) again
I hope the world and the people around you have given you plenty to smile about and laugh at today
Rach :wave:
 
Thanks Secrets, i still need a bit of time out as my head is still pretty messed up but im still hanging in there. I definately snuggle up with baby Ernie as much as i can, even when he doesnt like it!!
All of you are always in my thoughts, hoping you are all doing well, even though you dont hear from me much these days.
When im feeling better i'll be back again with a vengance :)
Have a great day xox
 
Back
Top