First of all, i'm going to completely honest and i'm sure i'm going to look stupid to all of you, but i need some advise...
I have been involved with this guy for 2 1/2 years and we are not in a relationship. I am so in love with him and last year i lost my virginity to him. He tells me he loves me and that he's not with any other girls, but he wont make a commitment to me. He says he wants to get his life straight first, but the one thing that was going good, which was his job, he up and quit so he could go on vacation for 3 weeks!
That's just part of the problem. Yesterday when i was talking to him (he's an vaca right now), he was watching porn with this guy friend. He was commenting about what he saw and saying we should watch it sometime. He was saying "oh that's really hot, and pregnant women are so hot." I just laughed it off, but this 25 min conversation was ALL about porn and sex! He even told me he had porn tapes under his bed, and he was decribing which porn was the best, and so on and so forth.
**Here is the problem: We are not in a relationship, and i already feel like i should be cutting the sex out because i'm giving him what he wants without a commitment. I've tried cutting it out in the past, and i swear i didn't see him for 4 months! Everytime i wanted to hang out he made an excuse because he would want to "have me" and he knew he couldn't, so he avoided me. We still talked almost everyday, he just wouldn't see me. So, even though i love him, i could go without the sex, i just do it because he wants it, and i don't want him to go someone else for it, and if we din't have it, i don't think i'd ever get to see him.
He always wants MORE from me, sexually, without giving me what i need emotionally. He gets his bosses phone sometimes and wants me to send sexy pics to it, because he doesn't get pic mail on his phone. When he has his phone, he wants me to text dirty to him and tell him my fantasies. He has even been in the bathtub with his "cock hard" (his words) asking me to text dirty to him so he could masterbate! I don't do these things because i don't feel like doing everything he wants sexually when he wont even make a commitment to me. I might do some of these things with a boyfriend (i have a very sexual side that i haven't shown him). Like why should i give him all of me, when he can't give me anything and even make me his girl?
Now i just feel like shit, because i don't feel like i'm what he wants sexually. I could be what he wants, but i don't think i should have to PROVE it to him in order to be with him..if that makes sense. I guess i'm being stubborn. He tells me he likes me because i'm "pure" and can't get enough of me, but it feels like he's always wanting more. What should i do? I am just over reacting?
Oh and his dad is a rapist and is in jail, if that has anything to do with why he acts like that. My friends boyfriend's dad is a rapist too and they act the same.
I have been involved with this guy for 2 1/2 years and we are not in a relationship. I am so in love with him and last year i lost my virginity to him. He tells me he loves me and that he's not with any other girls, but he wont make a commitment to me. He says he wants to get his life straight first, but the one thing that was going good, which was his job, he up and quit so he could go on vacation for 3 weeks!
That's just part of the problem. Yesterday when i was talking to him (he's an vaca right now), he was watching porn with this guy friend. He was commenting about what he saw and saying we should watch it sometime. He was saying "oh that's really hot, and pregnant women are so hot." I just laughed it off, but this 25 min conversation was ALL about porn and sex! He even told me he had porn tapes under his bed, and he was decribing which porn was the best, and so on and so forth.
**Here is the problem: We are not in a relationship, and i already feel like i should be cutting the sex out because i'm giving him what he wants without a commitment. I've tried cutting it out in the past, and i swear i didn't see him for 4 months! Everytime i wanted to hang out he made an excuse because he would want to "have me" and he knew he couldn't, so he avoided me. We still talked almost everyday, he just wouldn't see me. So, even though i love him, i could go without the sex, i just do it because he wants it, and i don't want him to go someone else for it, and if we din't have it, i don't think i'd ever get to see him.
He always wants MORE from me, sexually, without giving me what i need emotionally. He gets his bosses phone sometimes and wants me to send sexy pics to it, because he doesn't get pic mail on his phone. When he has his phone, he wants me to text dirty to him and tell him my fantasies. He has even been in the bathtub with his "cock hard" (his words) asking me to text dirty to him so he could masterbate! I don't do these things because i don't feel like doing everything he wants sexually when he wont even make a commitment to me. I might do some of these things with a boyfriend (i have a very sexual side that i haven't shown him). Like why should i give him all of me, when he can't give me anything and even make me his girl?
Now i just feel like shit, because i don't feel like i'm what he wants sexually. I could be what he wants, but i don't think i should have to PROVE it to him in order to be with him..if that makes sense. I guess i'm being stubborn. He tells me he likes me because i'm "pure" and can't get enough of me, but it feels like he's always wanting more. What should i do? I am just over reacting?
Oh and his dad is a rapist and is in jail, if that has anything to do with why he acts like that. My friends boyfriend's dad is a rapist too and they act the same.