Here we go again

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xtrigue08

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I gone through the WD's several times. The 1st time was 10 years ago. I even went to Detox. I had 3 years of suprvised recovery--random UAs.

I thought there was no way I would ever go through all that again. Here I am at 8 hrs after my last hydro. Damn!!! On the good side, I have only been back on the hydros for 3 weeks--this time. But it is amazing how fast it can speed up to throwing back 6 at a time. Ouch!
 
Hello xtrigue,

Its amazing what we put our bodies through huh? We go through those horrendous w/d's and promise ourselves "never again!" Then we find ourselves back at it...

The best advice I can give you is to think of your past, everything you went through - not only the w/d's but the lying, sneaking around, spending absurd amounts of cash etc...

If you were only taking them for three weeks, it may not be as bad as you remeraber, although I'm sure you'll feel some w/d's. The most important thing right now is to tell yourself that no matter what, you will not pick up more pills - just tell yourself that you're done, you'll go through whatever you have to, then it will be over.

Take a look at the Sample Home Detox Plan (the second post on the board) - there are some great suggestions to help you through the w/d's.

Keep posting, especially over the next few days - let us know how you're doing. Good luck :)

emsmom
 
WOW, great advice. I didn't suffer from an opiate addiction, mine was meth. With meth the physical W/D is only a couple days, but the mental and emotional W/D can take many months, even years.
When I was in rehad I'd tell my teammates, "Keep fresh in your mind the most gut-wrenching pathetic behaviors you had when you were using. Then when you starting thinking of using again -- think of the behavior".

Here's mine, (btw i'm gay) my partner got up early one morning for work. As he ran around getting ready, I lied in bed with one eye close pretending to sleep and the other open keeping an eye on his whereabouts. The minute I heard him hit the front door to leave, I was up smoking a bowl of crystal. It was 4:30am. All of a sudden I was startled and turned around, and he was standing there staring at me. He forgot something for work and came back in. I was too busy smoking my pipe to hear the door chime sound. He just looked at me, shook his head, and left. He as quitly saying,"This is pathetic". I was chasing him to the front door (pipe in hand) telling him I was sorry. It was so very sad seeing his disappointment. I still get emotional when I think of it.

It's those types of moments which help re-consider using again. I'm 6 months sober and hope to remain that way forever, I know its work in progress. My very best of luck to you,
doingfine
 
Welcome xtrigue,

SounRAB like you are in the very spot that I fear the most! However, the good news is that you are only 3 weeks in... You CAN change this. We will be here to support you!

doingfine, THANK YOU for sharing that story! That really put a lot of things into perspective for me and I am sure A LOT of others who are on this board... the regulars.. the lurkers... SO thank you for having the courage to share that.

xtrigue, I guess what I can say is that since you posted on here.. it's like a little cry for help.. You want us to tell you the things that you already know.. Maybe give you a little push to sobriety??? Well.. HERE IS YOUR PUSH! Put the pills down and take back the POWER you worked so hard for before!

I have faith in you.. Please stick around and let us know how you are doing.. We all slip up.. It's only human... I pray I don't.. but I can't look at you and tell you I am 100% positive that I never will take another pill again.. You are human.. Forgive yourself and start fresh!

Thinking and praying for your strength!
~Secrets
 
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